Total Eclipse of the Heart
by Cuddy Cabin
Summary: Bosco is having a hard time letting Faith know just how he feels about her. Newly divorced, Faith wants to start dating again and she wants Bosco's friend, Sean Kelly. What will happen with our favorite couple? R&R.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: I am only going to do this once for this story..it applies to every chapter hereafter. I don't own anything but the characters who come out of my deliciously creative mind! This story is dedicated to two readers who always review my stuff faithfully: **Jayne-190 **and **TWBasketcase**. These two always read my stuff and review so just to let the both of you know: You rock! Hope you like this new story. Here we go: The song is Total Eclipse of the Heart by Patty ?. I don't know...but I didn't write it..wish I did. I love it. And this is not going by any particular story line now. Only bits and pieces of the actual story are in here. In my universe nothing has gone beyond what you will read here.

_**Total Eclipse of the Heart**_

_Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming 'round._

_Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears._

_Every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by._

_Every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes._

I remember the day that Bobby Caffy died. Remember the way that everyone around us got all hushed and quiet when his name was mentioned. An then, when we heard the news that he was gone it hit me like a punch in the gut, making me feel almost sick because it could have been Faith. What would I have done if the doctor had come to me in that ugly hospital hallway to tell me that my partner and best friend was gone? I'd have died right along with her, that's what would have happened.

I remember what it felt like when Faith and I caught that scum-bag Pauly Fuentes and hauled him in. I thought it would give me more satisfaction to know that we were the ones who found him. The truth was that it didn't matter; Bobby was dead and it made no difference who got there first; there was no changing his fate.

The day that he was buried I watched Kim as she stood by the grave site, all red eyed and torn to shreds, her mother holding on to her bony shoulders to make sure she didn't fall. I had to look away because all I could think about was the fact that life is so short; you can be gone in an instant. It made me think about Faith and how connected I was to her and the fact that if anything ever happened to her I would never forgive myself. I know it was selfish considering the fact that it was Bobby's funeral and I should have been thinking about him, but I couldn't. All I could think about was her.

_Every now and then I fall apart._

_Every now and then I fall apart._

That was a couple of years ago but I still look back on that time and remember how precious life is. I know I'm not a sensitive guy to most people. I have taken sensitivity training at least three times in my career as a police officer and most of the time it didn't seem to help, but I still understood what it meant to have someone you treated with the utmost respect and would lay down your life for. She was embedded on my brain, engraved on my soul. Faith.

I remember going to her after nine eleven and cryin my eyes out like a big baby. It hurt so much and I kept it inside for so long that it was almost painful to actually let those sobs come out. She was the only woman to see my cry, accept for my ma. After Fred and the kids left her I almost asked her to move in wit' me cause she was the only person in this world that I could relate to, but I couldn't get the right words out. I dunno even how to explain it other than the fact that she understood every emotion, every look, every breath and I didn't even have to speak; She knew me like the back of her hand.

_Every now and then I get a little bit restless and I dream of something wild._

_Every now and then I get a little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms._

_Every now and then I get a little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and cry._

_Every now and then I get a little bit terrified but then I see the look in your eyes._

The trouble now was that she had gone through her divorce without a hitch and was starting to talk about dating, which bothered me to no end. I didn't want to hear about and I was actually stupid enough to let her catch me out havin a beer with my buddy, Sean Kelly, at Haggerty's one night after work. She liked him. Thought he was cute. He thought the same thing. She didn't even have to say a thing; her face said it all. Her laugh. The way she sat so far away from me in the booth, trying to let _him _know that her and I weren't together. I remember clankin my glass down on the table as she smiled at him and flirted a bit and then trying to cover up my jealousy by tellin Sean that she was a lesbian after she left.

He seemed a bit disappointed to hear that and I did feel a tiny bit guilty for lying to him, but it wasn't like she'd find out anyhow. He had asked for her number, which was when I told him that she played for the other team. Not that he was a bad guy. He was a great guy; for someone else. He was taller than me and bigger, too, but I could still kick his ass in an arm wrestle any day. A lot of people thought we were brothers because we had the same hair and eye color. Although I thought that I was better looking.

And so, I'd left the bar that evening and gone home. Alone. Again. Lately I hadn't been meeting many girls and I was starting to wonder about myself. Faith and I had been spending mass amounts of time together ever since her divorce. We'd rent movies or go for drives on our off days and go out to eat. Stuff like that. Maybe that's why I hadn't been turning on the usual Boscorelli charm at the bar. Could it be possible that I was in love with my own partner? And if so, why did it make me feel so weird?

I contemplated this new theory in my head as I strolled into workIt was a Monday afternoon and I'd actually gotten to bed at a decent hour the night before. No one sharing my bed and takin all the covers. It wasn't really _that_ bad to sleep alone.

I whistled as I walked toward the locker room and almost stumbled into Sully, who was stepping back from the water fountain after gettin a drink and not looking where his big ass was goin. I laughed out loud as I saw a big hunk of a jelly donut hangin off the back of him, the red stickiness dangling from the left cheek, but decided not to say anythin.

"Hey, watch it, Sullivan." I said, as I swerved to avoid getting red jelly on my new jeans."Ya eaten anythin lately, Sull?" I asked innocently.

"Watch what, ya little piss ant? Look where you're goin next time." He grumbled as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "And you're hungry already? Jeez, Boscorelli, have you ever heard of eating before you went to work?" He scoffed, walking away.

He was _totally _grumpy today, which wasn't unlike any other day, however, I was in a great mood and I didn't intend on lettin him spoil it. I also had tickets to hear this great new band I'd been wantin to see and I wanted to ask Faith if she'd go with me.

Davis was comin out of the locker room as I was goin in and gave me a 'you're gonna get it' kind of look. "Hey man, you do something to piss off your partner?" He asked, as he held the door open for me.

"Nah. Why?" I asked, lickin my lips and jammin my fists into the pockets of my jeans.

His eyes widened. "She's been lookin for you...that's all, man...but I'd just go in and say sorry before she kicks your ass. She's got the _big _boots on today." He nodded for emphasis.

I winced. "Ah...the big boots...well, I guess I'll just have to watch certain parts of my body and hope I make it to roll call in one piece."

"Good luck to ya." Ty said as he walked away shaking his head.

Faith had this pair of high, black leather boots with a heal that could be classified as a dangerous weapon. Those heels were long and thin and pointy. However dangerous those things were, one thing for damn sure was how they made her legs look about eight feet long and tempting. One time, after Fred came to work drunk and caused a scene, she was already dressed to go home and had on the boots and after he went down to the drunk tank, she was so pissed she kicked the locker door and it almost went through...oh yes, those boots were a force to be reckoned with.

"Thanks." I muttered as I slowly made my way inside the room. Like I was a spy in some old crappy flick, I cautiously peered around the row of lockers on my right to see if I could see her before she saw me. I didn't see her so I started out into uncovered territory and looked around to see if maybe she was in one of the stalls. I didn't see any feet so I figured that she was probably takin a shower or something, and as much as I'd of liked to go and see her in there I knew that I'd probably take the heel in the groin if I tried that.

Too late, I heard a small noise coming from behind me. Then I heard her hiss; "Bosco!" In her meanest and most pissed off voice. Man, I hadn't heard her talk like that since the last time I pulled a practical joke on her. Okay, so throwing liquid food coloring in on someone who is having a shower may not be the smartest thing to do, but it sure as hell was funny.

Before I could turn around fully, I saw her lift her arm out of the corner of my eye and before I could duck, she threw her shampoo bottle and hit me in the side of the head. The stupid thing was cracked down the side, so much so that some of the contents splattered on my hair and dripped down the side of my face.

"Awww!" I yelled, wiping at my face and turning to her fully. "Whatja do that for!" I continued. "Is it your time of the month again? You're not gonna send me into the drug store for your woman _things_ are you?"

Her blue eyes almost seemed to budge as she stood there staring at me. Her lips pursed into a tight line, her jaw clenched. She never did find my comments amusing when she was mad at me. My question seemed to enrage her even more and I took a few steps back incase I had to exit the room in a hurry. She was wearing a short black skirt with the boots and a lilac colored tank top. She looked hotter than I'd ever seen her, but I didn't dwell on it.

"What—did—I—do—that—for?" She practically screamed at me as she advanced toward me. I kept back up until I hit the row of lockers. Instinctively covered my 'boys' with my hands as I awaited her wrath. Her blond hair was down around her shoulders and she just looked so cute I wanted to reach out and kiss her.

"Faith—." I said in my nicest voice. "What's wrong?"

"Wrong? What's wrong?" She yelled shrilly and then stopped talking and turned and walked back into the shower area. Clop, clop, clop, went her big boots. "I'll tell you what's wrong!" She continued yelling as I heard the black boots clop back closer to me.

Not thinking that she was going to do anything else, I walked over to the sink and ran the warm water and was pulling down a wad of paper towel from the dispenser to try and wash the shampoo from all over my head and face, when she reappeared.

Holding a can of shaving cream.

She wouldn't!

I looked at her reflection in the mirror and whirled around as fast as I could and pointed my index finger at her. "Don't you dare, Faith! Now I don't know what it is that I did to make you mad but this is going too far!" I shouted to her as I tried to get away from her.

"Going too far? Did I hear you, Maurice Boscorelli, say that I was going _too_ far?" She yelled again and advanced another few steps. "Say it again, Bosco." She challenged me. "_Say it again_!"

If she got me, and that was _if_, I would have to take a shower and get ready all over again. Christopher would have both our asses. In a split second, I tried to turn again but got caught in my shoe lace that had, of course, come undone and fell crashing to the floor.

That's when she got to me.

"Don't you ever tell anyone that I'm a lesbian ever again!" She growled in my face as she leaned down and put one leg on my chest to prevent me from getting up. With that, she open fired on me with the cream. It was every where, my hair my face, my pants and shirt.

"Now, what do you have to say to me?" She questioned me, not moving her foot from my torso.

"Nice panties Faith."


	2. Seeing Red

After getting severely scolded by both Swersky and Christopher, Bosco and I were allowed to start our tour. We had made quite a scene in the locker room or at the very least, quite an impression on our fellow officers. Sully and Davis had come back in when they heard me yelling. Sully stood back and laughed and Ty came over with his hands up and very uncertainly asked me to put my foot down and let Bosco up. By that time some other officers had come into the locker room and were doubled over laughing at Bosco lying on the floor covered from head to toe in shaving cream. I was so mad that I didn't care who saw what I did. Bosco knew from my entire demeanor that I meant business but I could tell he was embarassed as hell. Served him right.

Out in the RMP Bosco sat as far away from me as he could, his body half turned towards the door just waiting for me to lash out at him or do something else totally insane. I admit that I've never done anything quite like that to him before; not that he didn't deserve it. I am usually a pretty level headed person but when my best friend goes around saying that I'm a lesbian, that just draws the line.

I glanced over at him and inwardly delighted in his obvious discomfort. He sat with his arms crossed over his chest, his hair shiny and so darn clean, with his sulky smirk that just about drove me insane. It was almost like he was five years old and I had sent him to bed without his supper. His tantrums certainly reminded me of a five year old.

He glared at me and stuck his nose up in the air when he saw me looking at him. "What?" he snapped snottily.

Instantly, my stomach knotted up. This was one shift that I could have done without. "Nothing." I snapped back, determined not to make up with him—at least for today. Tomorrow would be another story and I truthfully didn't think I could go another shift with us fighting.

"Humph." He snorted and then turned and looked out the window.

I pushed up my sunglasses on top of my head and turned to look at him. "What was _that_?"

"What was _what_?"

"That snort." I accused. "What was that for?"

He snapped around in the seat, startling me so I pulled my head back to get a better look. He pointed at me and I could feel the burn in those eyes.

"You didn't have to do what you did, ya know." He said angrily. "You _know_ how much Christopher hates me and now, thanks to _you and your shaving cream_, we have to wash all of the squads this weekend on our one day off!"

My eyes widened at his obvious insanity, because he couldn't seriously think for one second that I was going to take the blame for the mess we were currently in. "You must be crazy." I mumbled as I checked my rearview mirror for traffic and finding none, pulled the car over as fast as I could and slammed on the brakes.

"Come again? I'm not the one who went wild in the locker room." He said, cupping his ear with his hand. He saw the fire burning in my eyes and closed his mouth before he said something else he knew I would not take well.

"Me? You have the audacity to blame me for this? If anything—" I started.

"You're darn right!"

"Me? You told your friend that I was a lesbian, Bosco! What did you think I was going to do? Just let it go?"

"How do you know what I said or didn't say?"

"I saw him this morning and I asked him out for coffee sometime and he just happened to casually mention it to me, you jerk! Do you know how embarrassed I was? Do you?"

"It's over now so just let it go!"

"Let it go? No...I don't think so. This is all your fault! If you..." I accused, starting to get really angry at his cavalier attitude.

"_Who_ had to throw the broken bottle of shampoo?" He questioned, cutting me off.

"You were the one who—"

"And _who_ had the can of shaving cream?" He continued, knowing full well that it drove me nuts to have someone constantly interrupt me when I was trying to speak.

"Bosco!"

"And _who _had to knock me down to the floor and—"He rambled, his face turning red, his finger pointing dangerously close to my face.

I had to suppress the urge to laugh at that one and I might have if I hadn't been so busy looking at that finger and fighting the urge to just lean over and bite it off. . "Knock you down? You must have hit your head pretty hard you moron, cause the only thing that knocked you down was your own two clumsy–ass feet!"

"Sure, Faith. You just can't let it go, can you? You are such a sticker for details!" He huffed.

I snorted. "Sticker? I think the correct word is stick—ler." I said sarcastically. "Now I know how you get all the ladies—with your grammatically correct big words."

"Shut up." He spat, his eyes narrowing. "At least I don't have pink panties with little dots all over them! What are you, ten?"

"That's it!" I yelled, pointing to the door. "Get out!"

His eyes darted to the curb which we were parked beside. "You can't be serious."

"Oh, I'm serious!" I hissed at him, pointing at the door. "I've never been so serious in my whole life! Get out!"

His face scrunched up in his famous disgusted look, the one that he got when he was really peeved about something, just like the time that we had to do traffic duty after that perp wrote 'Bosco is a dick' on the side of our RMP. "What am I supposed to do? Walk back to the house?"

"I don't care what you do! You can go jump in the Hudson for all I care! I'm not riding with you anymore today!" I yelled at him.

"Fine!" He spat at me as he opened the door. He shut it and then leaned down into the window. "Ya know, Faith, you can really wring a guys nuts sometimes." He said nastily, then abruptly turned and walked away from me.

I gave him the finger as I drove by him walking up the block. He saluted me as I passed, his face still awash in anger and if I wasn't mistaken, maybe a little hurt. And even though I wouldn't admit it to him I sure as hell was feeling a little hurt myself.

It wasn't just that he was being an ass. He's bosco. He's always an ass. Hell, I expect it and am almost to the point of taking him to see a doctor if I don't hear a racist, childish or chauvinistic remark during our shift.

What bothered me the most was that he didn't think I was good enough for one of his friends. Sean Kelly was his best friend since childhood and they still did a lot of things together. I had heard about Sean from him many times over the years and he always sounded like a real stand up guy. He worked in Manhattan at Trump Tower. From what Bosco told me, he was pretty high up there. He worked with Donald Trump doing financial stuff—whatever that entailed, I would never know, but anyway, he just sounded like a nice fella.

So when I met Sean for the first time I was really interested in talking to him. Bosco was forever telling me stories about the things the two of them did and I thought it would be fun to sit down and have a few beers with him. He was also a very good looking guy, with his dark hair and really great facial features. He also had a set of very perfect, very white teeth. He smelled so good and when he smiled at me for the first time I actually felt myself feeling a little lightheaded. But the longer I sat at the table the more hostile and annoyed Bosco became. He pretty much ignored me the entire half hour I was there and then clanked his glass down on the table, signaling for me to leave. Or at least that's the way I took it.

I sighed to myself as I drove around the blocks that we were supposed to be covering and thought that maybe I was being foolish to get separated from my partner. If we had an important call than I wouldn't have his backup and then would have to explain why I'd dumped him on the side of the road. What could I say? He was being mean to me? I started back around the way that I'd came to try and find him, all the while thinking about why he was the only person that could rile me up within an inch of losing my mind.

It was so damn hot in the car that I could feel the sweat sticking to the back of my uniform, making me feel very uncomfortable. I was beyond irritated at that point. I growled to myself when I had made a third trip around and still didn't see him. I decided to go around the block one more time and then go get some lunch at Haggerty's. I didn't dare call him on his radio for fear that the boss would find out my partner was no where to be found.

I thought about how after my divorce Bosco was the only one to really take an interest in what I was doing or how I was. Both Emily and Charlie preferred to live with Fred and there really wasn't anything I could do about it. I worked long hours. I was never home. It was probably better for them in that way to be with Fred. As long as he didn't start drinking again. One thing I could never say about Fred was that he wasn't a good father. He loved our kids and no matter how sordid or ugly our separation had been, and it was ugly, it still made me feel a tiny bit better knowing that my kids were safe and, I guess, happy.

That's when Bosco and I really started to get connected. I knew he just felt sorry for me, but he would come over sometimes with pizza and rent silly movies to make me feel better. Sometimes he would take me for Sunday drives and we'd get ice cream, and as good as it made me feel, it reminded me that I had no one and he always had someone. There were times during out outings together that I would wonder what it would be like to date him, to call him my boyfriend, but tried to dismiss those thoughts as soon as they wandered into my head.

I knew that he'd never look at me the way he looked at other women. I would have to make due with his friendship, which was better than nothing. During those moments in time I got to see another side to him. The non-whiny, not a jerk, nice guy. That guy seemed to be reserved only for me and maybe a few others but no one at work saw him the way that I did. Too bad it wasn't always that way, for the second he got to work the old Bos was back. But hey, I dealt with it.

But just because I wasn't his type did that mean that I wasn't anyone else's type either? It hurt me to know that he had made the decision to stick it to me in such a way that he thought I'd never find out. Lucky for me I had run into Sean that morning and we'd had a pretty lengthy conversation and it was pretty obvious that he was completely caught off guard when I asked him out. But what I didn't tell Bosco was that he had said yes. We were going out on Friday night, only it wasn't coffee. He suggested dinner and then a movie or a show.

Hungry and more than a little hot, I gave up my search for my partner and pulled into Haggerty's and went inside. Lo and behold, who was sitting there at the bar stool but Mr. Boscorelli himself. He smirked at me as I entered.

"Look, it's little miss hot pants." He said sarcastically, not in a forgive or forget mood.

I took a deep breath and rubbed my temples with my index fingers. It was gonna be a long night.


	3. Revelations?

Author's Note: **Does anyone know where this story is going? **I can't find it on the **new **chapters or the **new stories **list and I'm wondering how you all are reading it. The only way I can find it is if I click on Cuddy Cabin. Can anyone tell me how to get the story on the new chapters list? Thanks for all the reviews so far.

Chapter Three

By Thursday I felt like I was a walking zombie; a person with no feeling, only a destination. My mission was to get through the rest of the week without Faith and I havin any more blowouts. The last three days working with her had been like a trip to the dentist: long, drawn out and very painful. We hardly spoke to each other the entire eight hours we were together, which probably was better than fighting but the silence was enough to make me want to scream. I could feel the tension between us; the silence as thick as the smog that covers our city and it made me feel like I was about to snap.

I've known Faith for almost fifteen years; we've had a lot of fights and I do mean a lot. We have argued about everything from sex to drugs to kids and marriage. Little things like behaviourial habits; mostly mine (never hers) down to where we were gonna eat our supper that night. I knew we'd been through a helluva lot together but this was the first time that something was wrong that I could _not_ fix. I'd always been able to go to her about everythin. It didn't matter what it was. She always listened and sometimes gave advice (which I never followed and ended up regretting it later) and I always knew that no matter what happened in my life that I could always bounce it off of her.

What was I to do now? Tell her that the reason I told Sean she was a lesbian was because I was secretly in love with her and wanted her all to myself? Tell her that the very thought of some other guy dating her, touching her, making love to her, would make me want to throw myself off the Brooklyn Bridge? That would go over real well, considering that she made it clear that she was in to Sean and apparently had no interest in me whatsoever. Not that I hadn't wondered by times—there were a few moments here and there that I thought I saw something more than friendship in her eyes but then again, I'm not the best judge of women. Not in that way. I'm more of the 'pleasure' giver, not the intellectual 'what's goin on in that head of yours?', kind of guy.

I left the locker room in a real huff, totally ticked off. Faith was in a real good mood for some reason (that started the minute she got out of the squad and away from me) and was talkin to someone on her cell phone. Every time I'd glance over at her while I was changin she would give me a dirty look and then go back to the conversation she was havin. The last time she caught me starin she turned completely away from me. As if it was really that big of a deal that I happened to look in her direction. She laughed real loud and hearty so I knew that who ever she was talkin to was tickling her funny bone. Faith has a real great laugh when she thinks somethin is really, really funny. Kind of like a high pitched squeal that she would try and cover up because it was so loud, but for the fact that she's caught off guard by the very thing that made her laugh in the first place.

So, when she laughed like that, I knew that she really was amused. I couldn't help but feel a little jealous about whoever it was on the phone. She didn't laugh like that for many people. I zipped up my jeans and jammed on my black boots and threw on a tight black t-shirt and my leather jacket and glanced back at her in the mirror as I was adjusting my hair. She was back to me, so she didn't see me staring. Good grief, she was looking pretty hot in her tight jeans and black turtle neck sweater. She had one hand in her back pocket as she talked, the other holding the phone. She leaned her shoulder on her locker and giggled again. That's the last thing I heard as I left the locker room.

I desperately needed a drink to get that memory from my head. Who the hell was she talkin to?

So, after my uneventful, boring and stressful shift, I decided to go over to my ma's bar and see what was goin on. My ma always knew that when I came to see her it was because I had somethin on my mind. I never said a word, she just always knew. She'd come over and pour me a shot of whatever she was workin on herself and tell me to spill.

As soon as I got inside and took a seat at the counter, she sashayed over to me, her pale eyes lighting up. She wore too much makeup, her shirt was too low cut for my taste, and she was drunk as a skunk, but I was still glad to see her. She always gave me the kind of attention that I'd never got as a kid. It was years late, but I still loved her and needed her, not that I'd ever repeat that, though.

"Hey baby, how you doin tonight?" She asked while reaching over behind the bar and grabbing two shot glasses, a lit cigarette hanging precariously from her full red lips. "You want one?"

"Ya. Thanks." I said, picking up the tiny glass and downing it in one gulp. I clanked it down and pointed at the bottle. "Keep em comin."

Her eyebrows raised and she gave me a look that was a mix between motherly concern and plain nosiness, which was typical of a bartender. "Maurice? What's goin on with you?"

I sighed and licked my lips, contemplating what I should say. I looked down at the counter, hoping that the answers would just come out of the shiny polished wood and hit me in the face. I felt her fingers under my chin, lifting my jaw so that I was eye level with her.

"Maurice? Are you in some kind of trouble?" She asked, setting her smoke in the ashtray and then her eyes widened and her hands came up around the base of her throat. "It's not your brother, is it? Don't tell me something happened to Michael—"

"No, ma. Nothins wrong with Mikey. I saw 'em last week. He's still livin with dad and workin construction." I said wearily, runnin my hands through my hair.

"Then what is it?" She asked, lookin visibly relieved, picking the butt up again and taking a long drag.

"It's...well...it's nothin...really." I mumbled, trying to find the words. Dammit, I was never good at expressing how I felt, especially when I was put on the spot. I turned the shot glass around with my hands, liking the feel of the cool glass on my palms.

"Maurice, I'm your mother and ya know what?" She asked, a small smile coming across her face.

"What?"

"I know you, baby. This is about a woman, isn't it?" She asked confidently, her head nodding slowly. "Isn't it?" She asked again, when I didn't answer.

"Ma, it's—it's complicated." I said, sighing. I pointed to the bottle again and she refilled my glass with a knowing look.

"Isn't it always? Ever since the days of Adam and Eve, men have been chasing women and vice versa. It's what makes the world go round, baby."

"Ya. Probably." I agreed.

"So, who is the lucky lady?" She asked. "Anyone I know?" She said and winked at me.

I scoffed and looked down again. "There is no lucky lady, ma. It's just a personal problem I've been havin at work 'an—"

"With Faith?"

I looked up at her and groaned. I should have known that she'd automatically bring Faith into it. She always did. "With Faith...ya." I said quietly, resting my chin in my hand.

"You two have a fight?"

"Lately, all we do is fight. She's changin, ma. She's not the same person she was when she was married."

"What do you mean?" She asked, raising her eyebrows quizzically, while reaching to pull another smoke out of her pack.

I picked up the lighter and held it up to her while giving her a dirty look. "When are you gonna give up that filthy habit?"

"Ahh." She said, waving the smoke away from my face. "You always did like to worry about me...but I don't want to talk about that right now. I want you to tell me what's wrong with you and Faith."

I took a deep breath and tried to put what I felt into words. "It's just that she's changin and I don't like the way that she acts sometimes. I don't know how else to explain it."

"You mean she's movin on. Since her divorce?"

"Kind of."

"She's gettin out there, meeting new people and you don't know how to handle the fact that she doesn't need you as much as she did?"

"No. We still do lots of stuff together. We watch movies and go to dinner and stuff...it's just that she's not the same as she used to be."

"So, what you're trying to say is that she's interested in someone else, other than you?" She asked perceptively, giving me a sad smile, like she felt sorry for me.

"No!" I objected hotly. "That's not what I meant!"

"It isn't?"

"No—it isn't."

"So why are you so upset then?" She questioned me, her eyes all glassy. Even in her drunken state she still knew me like the back of her hand.

"I'm not upset." I said uncomfortably. The conversation was just too much for me at that moment. I mean, I wanted to be at the bar so I could see my ma and just shoot the shit. I knew she was perceptive, but hell, I didn't want to talk about Faith in _that _way at that moment. I hadn't even figured out everything that I was feelin yet. "I just don't want to talk about that right now."

"Of course you don't. You're just like your father that way. Never wanting to talk about how you feel and then it's too late."

I narrowed my eyes, the alcohol starting to make me feel a little drunk. "What?" I demanded. "I'm nothing like him!"

"No. Not at all, Maurice." She said. "Listen, baby. If you're in love with Faith you need to tell her—"

"Ma! I didn't say—"

"Don't sass me, Maurice!" She snapped, obviously intent on imparting her knowledge on me. "You've been in love with that girl since the day you met her. And you wonder why it bothers you now that she's gettin out on her own? When she was married you knew that she wasn't happy with him, that he didn't know her the way that you did, didn't understand the bond between partners. And you never went after her then because you knew that even if you couldn't have her that no one else could either—but now—" She said, her eyes opening wider and growing more serious. "Now she's divorced and she is startin to find a life of her own and you can't handle it."

I blinked over and over again, trying to digest what she had said. Was it true? I mean, I knew that it was very possible that I was in love with Faith, but hearing it from someone else was like getting hit in the face with a bucket of cold water; it was stinging and surprising and very, very unexpected.

So, what was I supposed to now?


	4. PreDate Thoughts

Author's Note: **Okay, I still can't find this story**. Flo, I tried but I couldn't do what you told me to...maybe I can't follow directions...but can **someone tell me how to get it on the new chapters list**? Thanks all.

**Pre-Date Thoughts**

Friday morning I was out of bed by ten, which was early for me. I read the morning paper, had some coffee and did up all of my housework incase Sean came over after our date. I wasn't planning on asking him to bed or anything, but I wanted my place to look nice in case I decided to get forward and invite him up for drinks (which was something that I'd never done). And so, my sheets were washed and dried and put back on my bed and sprayed with Fabreeze. A gorgeous lilac smell that reminded me of summer time and barbeques. I did up all of my dishes and even dried them and put the rack under the sink. Then, I polished my cherry wood coffee table and spread the magazines out neatly on top. I fluffed the pillows on the couch and arranged the blue throw blanket on the top. Everything looked as good as I could have expected, considering that there was hardly enough furniture to even make up an apartment.

My place was pretty empty since my divorce, especially since Emily and Charlie moved in with Fred and the mistress. Rooms were bare, the movie rack was empty; the bathroom was cleaner than ever, the front closet was hardly ever used; the coats and boots and shoes had all vacated and made their way to a better part of town where they could get comfortable in a bigger, more expensive closet, no doubt. And all because Fred's new main squeeze had a big wig job at the Department of Defense and owned her own BrownStone.

I was actually considering moving into a one bedroom closer to work, but couldn't commit to looking at another place or even calling around and seeing what I could get for my money. The smart choice would have been to move as soon as Fred and the kids left me but somehow I always hoped that they would get tired of living with him and magically appear outside my door and ask me if they could come home again. Home. Did I even know what that was anymore? A three bedroom apartment with nothing much in the fridge except a half drunk quart of milk and a jar of mayonaise? I never grocery shopped anymore. I ate out all the time. What was the point?

Bosco had hinted on several occasions that I should move closer to him and that way we could always go to work together, but I hadn't taken him up on his 'charity' offer yet. He was only trying to be nice; trying to make me take my mind off the fact that I was in my mid thirties and I was alone. Totally alone. He, on the other hand, didn't care about being by himself. In fact, I think he relished being able to come and go as he pleased and never have to answer to anyone. He had no ties accept for his mother and brother, who were hardly ever around anyway. If he wanted to see Rose he just went to her bar. Otherwise it would be weeks and weeks before he heard from her. I love his ma, don't get me wrong, but she wasn't exactly the typical housewife and mother that Anthony wanted her to be. He was no sweet smelling rose either. But this is America; No one can say what is or isn't normal these days.

I decided to take a long bath before going in to work. I'd have to shower when I got home anyway, but I loved the relaxation of being in the hot water with bubbles up to my neck. I had already asked Swersky if I could have some personal time in the evening and he told me I could come in to work from three to seven. It wasn't exactly police procedure, but I had a lot of over time racked up and Lieu always liked me so he didn't have a problem accommodating my request. The thing that worried me was telling Bosco that he'd be riding solo or with Gussler for the rest of the shift.

I laughed to myself as I ran the water as hot as I could stand it and dumped in a whole lot of raspberry bubble bath. Bosco was gonna flip his lid when he found out that I was ditching him. He hated it when he had to ride by himself, but not as much as he hated riding with Gussler. I had no problem with him, he was a nice guy; a little on the geeky, meek side, but he was always polite and friendly to me. Bos, on the other hand, was absolutely infantile around him and totally obnoxious. Big surprise.

I hadn't told Bosco about my date with his friend, and I guessed that Sean hadn't told him either because I hadn't gotten the third degree yet. I knew that as soon as I told him that I was taking some personal time, he'd ask what it was for. I wouldn't lie to him either. I'd tell him just to see the look on his face; his eyes scrunch up and that sour look turning up his mouth, like he just swallowed a bottle of lemon juice.

Too bad for him, I thought, as I lowered myself into the suds, relishing the smell of the bubbles and the water caressing my skin. I leaned back on my bath pillow and closed my eyes but my brain continued to do a play by play of scenarios that could possibly happen when I let the bomb drop.

Either way I was going out with him that very night. It didn't matter what Bosco said or didn't say. Hell, he'd probably stop the car and tell me to get out and walk back to the house, he'd be so angry that I had defied his wishes. It really bugged him when I did or said something that he disapproved of. Like when I was married to Fred and I had found out that I was pregnant and in a moment of insanity, told him, it was like the flood gates had opened, mainly his big mouth. He told me his opinion constantly. No, not just his opinion, his demands that I tell Fred right away, which I wasn't ready to do. He badgered me constantly for days until I finally told him that I'd lost the baby after a perp we were chasing hit me in the stomach with a metal pipe. I actually had an abortion because I knew that the last thing we needed was another mouth to feed. In the end, he finally stopped talking about it. A relief at best.

And so, as I soaked myself my thoughts turned from Bosco to Sean. Tall, gorgeous, hard bodied, Sean Kelly. He had called me on my cell phone the night before and we had talked for about fifteen minutes. He had asked me for my number when he'd run into me at the coffee shop a couple of days before, which was where I asked him out in the first place. He told me that he would call me on Thursday evening to confirm our date. I wasn't sure if he'd actually call me or not, but as soon as I got out of the squad and got into the house, the phone rang. Bosco was taking back our radios and signing them off, so all I had to do was get ready to go home.

Sean was really sweet and very funny. I changed as I talked to him, which is no easy thing to do when you are putting on a turtleneck sweater, but I managed. I stood there for the longest time, just listening to him and laughing at almost every word he said. He joked about cops in general and told me some funny stories about the things that went on at Trump Tower. He told me he had made reservations at this hot restaurant in Manhattan called Serendipity. It was supposed to be a great place and he was anxious to go there and eat. He also said he had tickets to a play, but wouldn't say what one.

I was totally delighted by his voice; the low gravelly sensualness of a man who knew how to talk to a woman; his mannerisms, his obvious interest in me. It had been years since a man other than Fred was actually interested in me; in _Faith_. Not the wife, not the mother; the _woman_ and it felt damn good.

The only downer of the call was that Bosco kept staring at me with that sour look on his face as he changed into his street clothes. He took one hell of a long time getting dressed, too, as if he was waiting to say something nasty to me and was hoping that I'd hang up the phone. We had hardly spoken the entire shift, actually for the last three shifts, and I was sure that he had so much stuff built up in there that he was about to burst into flames right there in the locker room, from the agony of having kept his mouth shut for so long. So what did I do? I shot him my dirtiest look and turned away. He left about a minute later and slammed the door behind him.

I pushed the thought of my partner out of my mind as I plucked a baby blue towel off of the shelf next to the tub and began to dry myself off. I hung my towel up on the shower bar and proceeded to stare at my naked body in the mirror that was hung on the back of the bathroom door. I didn't look too bad, I thought, as my eyes skimmed up and down over my breasts to my tummy and down my legs. I was still firm where I wanted to be, maybe a little extra weight on my belly, but nothing that caused me to want to go on a crash diet. For a woman in her thirties I thought that I was doing better than a lot of the girls I went to high-school with.

Those girls had made getting married and pregnant a religion. They ate, slept, and breathed babies and husbands; in that order. For years all they did was cook and clean and give birth like some breeding cow, a million times over and then they were all dried up, angry and bitter that their life had passed them by. Consequently, they all gained about a hundred and fifty pounds in the last fifteen years or so while I still had a pretty good body. I had seen it a hundred times. I was glad that I was where I was. The only thing I missed profoundly were my children.

I finished drying off and went into my bedroom to get dressed for work. I pulled out the new dress I'd bought the day before and set it out on my bed. It was a red v-neck Christian Dior that went midway between my knees and my ankles with a long slit up the side. Impulsively, I'd bought it and charged my credit card, not caring that it cost almost three hundred dollars. I had a pair of black slipper sandals to go with it and a small red handbag. I also had a thin black shawl that I'd gotten as a birthday present a year or so before, to drape across my shoulders in case it became chilly later in the evening.

It was the most expensive and revealing dress that I'd ever contemplated wearing, but when I tried it on it made me feel like the sexiest woman alive. It took my cleavage and made it tantalizing; my legs, eight feet long; and my torso slim and sleek. And in a moment of utter vanity I'd bought it.

But as I was getting on the subway, a strange feeling came over me. After going though all of the preparations, the shopping, the cleaning, the nervousness, why did I feel like I was betraying the one man I could never have? In a small way, I felt almost guilty for going out with someone else to dinner. But that was silly, I scolded myself. He doesn't want you. He never did. And he certainly wouldn't waste any time in finding another woman to go to dinner with if he wanted to.

But it was time to move on, time to get over what mis-placed feelings I had for my partner, and sometimes, best friend. Today was a new day and no matter what I felt for Bosco I knew that I was doing us both a favor. This way he could stop hanging out with me from pity and I could let go of the fantasy of having him all to myself.

And besides, Sean Kelly was definitely a good reason to start fresh.


	5. Friday Fun: Part One

Author's Note: Thanks to all of you who tried to help me with the list problems. I checked this morning and it's on the new chapters list. Yay! Thanks so much for your reviews. You all make my day when I read the awesome things you write! Ok, here goes:

**Chapter Five - Friday Fun- Part One**

I woke up the next morning with a terrible headache and a throat so dry it felt like sandpaper. I rolled over, checked the clock, then put my arm across my face, trying to block out the sunlight that was streaming through my white curtains. My ma always told me to get some blinds but I never listened. It'll keep out the sun, she said. I could have used them right about then. The only thing I was thankful for was the slight breeze that blew in my window.

"Ohhhhh...what have I done?" I groaned miserably. "I swear, Lord, never again. _Ever_."

Below me, the sound of horns honking and the hustle and bustle of people streaming by seemed to be amplified a thousand times over, like everyone on earth knew that Maurice Boscorelli had a hangover and had to be to work in less than two hours and they were specifically sent my way just to punish me for drinking so much I almost drowned. I didn't even know how I got home.

There had been many a night when I had gone home so drunk that I could hardly walk or even tell you my own name, but this was the first time in my life that I couldn't remember a single thing after I had gone to ma's bar. I lay in my bed for a good twenty minutes trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together before I remembered having what had amounted to practically a therapy session from my drunken mother on the reasons why I should be with Faith. Not even being together was good enough for my ma. She wanted us to get married. I'd hardly been able to even get her stopped talkin—once she opens her mouth, and especially when she's drunk, it never closes. Finally (I think), I had told her that if she said one more word, I'd never get married or have any grand kids for her to spoil. That shut her up. To prove to her how seriously I _didn't_ want to talk about Faith anymore, I leaned over to the closest girl and gave her a kiss on the mouth. I couldn't even remember who the hell she was.

I groaned and threw back the covers and swung my rubbery legs over the side of the bed. It took me a few minutes to get up the strength to actually stand up, and when I did, I was so dizzy I had to sit back down. I reached up and scratched the side of my head, which was itching me like crazy and was more than a little on the sore side, and when I brought my hand down my fingernails were caked with dried blood.

"What the hell?" I frowned as I re-touched the gash on the side of my head, thinking that maybe gettin all forward on that girl wasn't the best thing to do; maybe she'd hit me over the head with an ash tray or somethin. Damn my drunken ass, cause I had no idea what had happened after I kissed her.

I didn't have time to dwell on it, though, because the next thing I knew my stomach had been invaded by butterflies and my throat began to constrict. I didn't even have time to get off the bed before I emptied the contents of my stomach on my hardwood floor. Damn Fridays.

I wiped up my mess with the t-shirt I'd had on the night before and threw it in the hamper, swearing that I'd never be so stupid again, and decided that what I really needed was a shower, shave and about a pot of coffee. In that order.

I was one of these people who, when they were hung-over, could find solace in a pot of strong, black coffee. It was the only thing that made me feel better and I knew that if I was going to get through another shift with Faith, I had to be prepared. I walked over to the window and stared outside, thoughts of my partner and what I was going to do, tumbling around inside my head.

It was so confusing with her; we were partners, best friends and we fought like cats and dogs. In fact, I fought more with her than I ever had with anyone else, including my own brother, and still, there was some kind of underlying passion that kept me comin back for more. I had never met a woman before who could both turn me on _and_ make me angrier than hell, all in the same breath. She frustrated me; she made me want her so bad it physically hurt; she made me angry in a way that made me want to shake some sense into her and kiss her at the same time. She twisted me up inside every single day until I had to resort to acting like a complete ass in order to stop myself from saying what I wanted to say; doing what I wanted to do. I guess it was easier that way; to act like I didn't want her. And that was only the beginning.

Work was one story, but outside of work was another can of worms. When we went for drives or to a movie or even dinner, it was harder and harder for me to keep it all inside. I liked pulling out her chair before she sat down at the table. I liked putting my arm around her during the scary parts of the movie and I loved taking her for long drives just so I could see her smile and laugh. It was those times that she let down her guard and let herself relax. But it made it worse for me. And after our locker-room spectacle, things were worse than ever.

Not only was I still pissed at her for embarrassing me, but the more times I got teased from my fellow officers, it reminded me that I was probably going to have to take that anger management course all over again because I was going to beat the face off of Steve Dukes _and _that I got assaulted on the locker room floor. By a _girl. _

If I heard 'Boscorelli, watch out for that can of shaving cream', or 'Hey Bosco, you need a body guard to walk you through the locker room?", _or_ the most clever 'Bosco got his ass kicked..Bosco got his ass kicked'(complete with the sing-song voice), I was going to snap. There was only so much I could take.

But what _really _bothered me was the fact that Faith had no idea how I really felt about her and even if she did, I doubted that the feelings would be reciprocated, especially after me tellin my friend that she was gay. It was the hardest thing in the world to pretend day after day after _blessed_ day that I only cared for her as a partner, not as a woman. She didn't know that I dreamed about her practically every night of my life. Didn't know that every other woman I'd been out with in the last twelve years had been an attempt at finding someone just like her. She didn't know that when I saw her coming toward me, I could feel my heart racin and my blood pressure rise a few degrees. And what did I do? Act like she was the last female I'd ever want to be with. And all because I was a big, fat, chicken.

I'd say that the worst torture of all is bein crazy about someone and tryin to cover it up by bein a jerk and actin stupid all the time. Always talkin about other women and crackin remarks and shit. I know that from the outside I was doin one hell of a job makin it look like we were just partners and there was nothin more to it, but inside, my heart was torn and I didn't know what I was going to do. I mean, I couldn't tell her how I felt. I couldn't admit something of that magnitude and then have her laugh in my face or somethin. Damn Fridays, I thought to myself as I made my way to the bathroom and turned on my shower full blast.

It was pretty slow goin for me that morning, actually, afternoon, as I stood under the hose, the warm spray hittin all the right spots. I leaned my arm against the side of the wall and just stood there for at least a half hour, trying not to throw up again. It was one thirty and I only had an hour and a half before I had to be at work. I hoped that Faith would do all the drivin and let me just slink down in my seat and wait for the next eight hours to pass by.

Finally, I managed to get out of the shower and get myself dressed, although I had to lay down for another few minutes before I could consider making my way down the long, long hall to my kitchen. My apartment wasn't too small, but it wasn't huge either, and it had a very long hallway. When you opened my door you were in the hall and all the other rooms branched off; Kitchen, bathroom, livingroom, bedroom. That's how it all went. At that moment, the kitchen seemed a mile away.

I decided that even though food was the last thing on my mind, I needed to at least get a piece of toast into me or I wouldn't even make it to work. As I shuffled along I wondered again about the girl that I had kissed at my ma's bar. The only thing I was grateful for was that I hadn't slept with her or she'd still be here. The last thing I needed was to tell some poor girl that I just wanted to be friends or that I just wasn't in 'that' place right now. Thanks but no thanks.

I felt oddly guilty about kissin that girl, too, which was something that I had never had any experience with before. The guilt, I mean. Until Faith, I was totally able to go on my way without so much as a bad feeling passing through my freshly satisfied body. I felt like I was betraying Faith, which was totally stupid, and I tried to banish the thought as soon as it came into my head.

As I approached the kitchen area, I smelled the undeniable smell of bacon cooking and it turned my stomach. I stopped walking, dead in my tracks and listened to the sound of the meat sizzling and snapping. My heart started to race as I wracked my brain to figure out who the hell it was. I considered just runnin down the remainder of the hall and bustin out, but was too weirded out by the fact that there was a stranger in my kitchen and I didn't even know who it was!

Think, Boscorelli, Think.

Had I brought someone home with me? Had I taken that mystery girl home and slept with her and not remembered?

I had hit my head on something so maybe that was why I couldn't remember. I stood there, like some bump on a log, unsure what to do, totally terrified to walk into that room and see who it was. But as fate would have it, I didn't have to do a damn thing.

"Maurice, are you done of your shower yet?" Came a chirpy female voice that I did not recognize.

I sucked in my breath, a cold sweat breaking out on my neck and back, as I stood there. "Uh...ya. All done." I called out lamely, shifting from one foot to the other, chewing on my finger nail.

"Well, I went to the grocer down the street and got us some bacon and eggs." Mystery girl yelled, making my head pound uncontrollably.

Cursing under my breath, I continued down the hall and walked into the kitchen, praying that this would be over as soon as possible. I stood in the doorway and jammed my hands into my pockets, hardly daring to breathe.

She was back to me, so I had no idea who she was, but she was shapely and had long dark hair that was down to her shoulder blades. She was wearing a black mini skirt and a white tank top with a nice pair of short black boots. She turned around and smiled at me. "Come on. Dig in." She invited. Man, but was she a looker. Perfect strait teeth, big eyes, button nose, round, pouty lips. I swallowed and tried to place her. If I had been with this woman, I could _not_ believe that I didn't remember.

And there was nothing. Not a damn thing. This girl could have been my long lost sister or the mother Mary for all I knew but the fact remained that she was here, making food that made me want to barf. Any other time I would have tried for a second romp, considering that I couldn't remember the first, but my head was pounding so hard I thought I was gonna faint or throw up. Either one was quite possible.

"Uh...hi." I said, forcing what I"m sure was a fake smile. One that said, 'I don't know who the hell you are, but could you kindly leave now'? "I'm not real hungry an' I gotta get goin." I said, jerking my thumb behind me, toward the door. "Ta work." I added.

"How's your head?" She asked, sliding a couple of pieces of bacon onto a plate, along with a fried egg and some toast. "You hit it pretty hard, you know." She said, walking over to the table and sitting down.

"It hurts like hell." I said, noticing what incredibly bright green eyes she had. This woman had walked strait from the cover of Maxim magazine and all I wanted to do was go back to bed and die. "Do you know what happened?" I asked, leaning on the counter for support.

She smiled again, this time letting out a small laugh, the corners of her mouth turning up a bit. "Ya. You fell and hit your head on the corner of the bar." She looked down for a minute and thought about the scene, which must have been a real doozie and really started to laugh. "You...you...fell right after..." She had to stop for a second. She held up a slender hand and tried to get serious. "You fell right after you kissed me and landed on your face."

My face turned red. "It was you I kissed." I mumbled.

"Ya, you're quite a don-juan, you know." She said as she bit into a piece of bacon. "Even tried to get me to go down to the Courthouse so we could get married."

I straitened up, totally embarrassed. "I'm sorry. I was so drunk last night. I don't know what else to say to you." I said, running my hands through my hair. I turned around to look for my keys and plucked them out of the dish next to the microwave, amazed that I'd actually driven my car. I really had to get goin.

"I can't believe I drove us here last night." I said, to myself more than to her.

"Oh, I drove. Nice car though, although you might want to remember to not yell every time you think someone is driving wrong."

"I'm sorry." I said apologetically, feeling like a big ass. "I don't even remember your name." Inwardly I was cringing that I'd actually let someone drive my baby!

"My real name or the name you wanted to call me?"

I turned around quickly and had to grab the counter to stop myself from falling. She didn't seriously say what I thought she said. "What are you talking about?"

"My name. My real name is Candy but last night I was Faith. Nice name." She said, winking at me and going back to her breakfast.

"I asked you to say your name was Faith?" I asked incredulously, my stomach starting to feel sick again. What kind of a jag-off was I to do that to some poor girl? I really needed some serious help.

"It doesn't matter. I'm used to it." She said nonchalantly. "I've had a lot worse."

I raised my eyebrows. "Worse? What do you mean?"

"Oh, you know." She said, making a funny face and rolling her eyes. "Sometimes they want you to do some pretty crazy things; pretend you're their mother or their sister or whoever." She said simply. "You, however, were pretty good, considering you were half unconscious."

I got a real funny feelin in the pit of my stomach and my veins felt like I had ice water running through them. I could not have been that stupid. "Who does?"

"Are you kidding me?" She asked, biting into the toast, giving me a look like I was a nutcase or somethin.

"No...are you trying to tell me somethin here?" I asked, really feeling sick again. If she told me what I didn't want to hear, I was gonna freak out.

"You don't remember asking me to come here with you, do you?" She asked.

"No. I don't." I said, starting to get a bit peeved cause I knew that she was about to blow my mind. I crossed my arms over my chest and waited for the line I knew was about to come.

"Well." She drawled, getting up from the table and depositing her plate into the sink. "Let's just say that you owe me four hundred bucks Maurice...does that give you the idea now?"

I brought my hands up over my face, in utter and complete horror. I had gotten a prostitute! I had actually become so desperate that I'd taken home the street trash that I'd always hated!

"Four hundred bucks! Are you kidding me?" I half shouted, bringing my hands down. "What could you have done that would have cost that much!"

She sighed and put her hands on her hips. "You asked me to stay the night. You also asked me to make you breakfast in the morning and then to give you another turn in the sack before you went to work."

"You've got to be kidding me!" I roared, not unaware of my throbbing head. I grabbed a glass and filled it with water. My hands shaking, I threw open the cupboard door and frantically searched for the Asprin. Finding some, I opened the bottle and dumped a few into my mouth and took a big swallow. I wiped my mouth on the sleeve of my shirt and gave her a disgusted look.

"Nope." She said, all business now, and holding her hand out. "So, where is it? Cause I...um..kinda have another engagement in about an hour."

It was like an episode of the Twilight Zone...I was dreaming...This wasn't real. There was no way in hell that I could have done that in my right mind, or even in a drunken stupor...I had never taken home a hooker before...never...and I actually asked her to let me call her Faith! Could this day get any worse?

I glanced at the clock. It was two thirty five and if I didn't get to work in time, Christopher was surely gonna have my ass. I already had to spend my weekend washing the squads. I didn't want to think about what he'd do if I was late. I'd dealt with hookers before, not on this particular level, but I knew what to say and what not to say. I knew that I had to bullshit her or I was gonna be in the biggest trouble I'd even been in my whole life.

"Do you know what my job is?" I asked her, as I walked out into the hall and grabbed my sneakers and jammed my feet into them.

"Last night you said you were the doctor of love." She said sarcastically, immediately understanding the change in my demeanor, getting the hint that she was about to be leaving. I grabbed her by the arm and pulled her toward the door.

"Hey!" She said, getting peeved. "Let go of me, you jerk! You owe me four hundred—"

"Well, let's just say that what _I_ do and what _you_ do are direct opposites and if _I_ see _you _when I'm at my job, then _you_ will be a very unhappy girl. You get me?" I said, angrily, as I shoved both her and myself out the door.

"You're a cop!" She yelled at me, her face now turning nasty. Her eyes narrowed and she looked like she was gonna spit on me. "You're a pig! A pig!" She roared, pointing at me. "You knew you could get it for free!"

"That's right and if I ever see your face again...I'll lock you up myself." I snapped at her, baring my teeth. I pointed in the general direction of the main door of the building. "Now get the hell out of my face and if you ever see me again, pretend you never met me, cause I can make your life a living hell!"

With that, I locked my door and turned away from her. She cursed a blue streak but she left behind me. I got in my car and drove to work, not for one second forgetting that I didn't even deserve to have a woman like Faith. Or anyone else for that matter.


	6. Friday Fun Part Two

**Friday Fun: Part Two**

As soon as I got to work I knew something was wrong. Bosco was late and it made me nervous because he hadn't so much as called to let me know. He always called _me_ before he called the house to let _them _know. It must have been something he couldn't get out of because we were in enough trouble with Christopher as it was.

I groaned thinking about how I was going to get up at six thirty in the morning on my Saturday to go to work and wash all the squad cars. It was ridiculous and down right embarrassing to be reduced to doing what other officers got perps to do as a form of punishment. We'd been the talk of the precinct all week. But instead of getting down about something that I had no control over, I thought about the evening that was ahead.

I hoped that my date with Sean was going to be awesome. It had been years and years since I had dated anyone, and although it was scary, it was a welcome change from Fred and from just having pretend dates with Bosco.

I finished getting ready and was leaning down to tie my boots when the man in question came breezing through the door, already unzipping the fly of his jeans. He threw open his locker and pushed them down over his thighs, revealing a very nice pair of blue boxer briefs and a very muscular butt. He kicked off his sneakers and pulled out his clean uniform. I tried not to stare and looked at my watch instead. I stood up and crossed over to the sink to wash my hands. I watched his reflection in the mirror as he undressed.

"I know—I know—I"m late." He gushed, as he pulled his t-shirt over his head, revealing his very muscular chest, and threw it into the locker. "It couldn't be helped." He said, looking over at me. "I wish it could have but—." He trailed off, as if losing the thought.

"Oh ya? Well, I hope you can get ready in about two seconds cause Christopher is gonna hang you out to dry." I said, a little irritated, but relieved to know that he was here and he was safe.

"That wouldn't be the worst of my problems." He grumbled, and then winced and put his hand to his forehead.

"Well your problems are quickly becoming my problems and it would be nice if you could make it to work on time." I said, as I pulled a wad of paper towel down from the dispenser and dried my hands. I turned around and leaned against the sink and folded my arms across my chest.

"I said it couldn't be helped." He replied, getting a fresh t-shirt out and putting it on.

"Sure it couldn't." I snapped, feeling my emotions getting the better of me. I hated when I resorted to being petty with him but I knew full well that he was late for work because he'd been with some girl and rather than embarrass myself by letting him know I was jealous as hell, I tried to cover it up by acting like I was really angry that he was making us both late for work. "Couldn't get her off of you long enough to get here on time?"

He stopped what he was doing and just stared at me. I'd never thrown anything like that in his face before. I knew what he did on his time off, and even if I hated the fact that he was out hunting women like it was a sport, I had never bashed him with it, until now. There was something in those hazel eyes that look strained, like I had actually hurt him with my remark.

His face turned into a sneer as he looked at me; his eyes narrowing, his nose turning up. "Why?" He asked indignantly. "Jealous?"

I felt my face turn red. "What?"

"Do you care?" He asked, point blank. "Do you _really_ care who I slept with last night?"

"I—uh—what are you talking about?" I sputtered, trying to get in control of the situation. He had never said anything like that to me before and I was so taken aback that I could hardly breathe. We were finally getting to it; after thirteen years and I couldn't think of a damn thing to say.

He folded his arms over his chest and grinned mockingly at me, mean and spiteful. "Do you really give a shit who was in my bed last night or any other night for that matter?" His eyes burned into me, making me feel hot and very uncomfortable. "Cause that would just change everythin." He snapped.

We stood there for a few seconds, staring each other down. Neither of us knew what to say next, although it would have been very smart to say nothing at all and just agree to keep both of our mouths shut for the shift, but we were never very good at staying out of a fight. No, my partner and I seized every opportunity to make life harder and more uncomfortable on ourselves.

"What's _wrong_ with you?" I demanded. I rolled my eyes as I watched him run his hand through his hair. He was not himself this morning. That's when I noticed a gash in the side of his head that probably needed stitches. I was starting to wonder if he didn't have a concussion, he was acting so weird.

"I really don't want to get into it right now. Can you let me finish gettin ready here?" He asked, still standing in his underwear, his hands out in a gesture of 'can't you just leave me alone'?

He grabbed his uniform shirt and put it on as fast as he could, all the while staring at me with a nasty look. His eyes were bloodshot and his face was a very unhealthy grey color. And unless I was dreaming, he had a definite smell to him. I walked a little closer to him. He backed up a bit as I approached.

The stale smell of cigarettes and alcohol had embedded themselves on my partner and must have been coming out of his pores because he stunk. My mouth hung open and I shook my head back and forth.

"What happened? You smell awful and you need stitches." I said, pointing to his head.

"Thanks for the newsflash, Nancy O'Dell." He grumbled. "Ya. I went out and had a few drinks an' I hit my head. Is there anything else you need to know? Name? Rank? Cereal number?" He said, grabbing his pants out of the locker and bending down to put his legs through. He struggled to pull them up, while he glared at me.

"Jackass." I snapped, wondering why I cared so much. "Your head is bleeding. You might want to get it looked at."

"I said,_ thanks_." He said angrily, looking down at himself, trying to yank the pants up and when they wouldn't cooperate properly, looked down and cursed. "What is _wrong _with these pants!"

"You might want to put them on the right way." I dead-panned. "They're backwards."

"Thanks for the input." He snapped again, yanking them down and trying to turn them around the right way.

"Christopher isn't going to let you go out on the street like this—" I began.

"So? Then maybe he'll send me home and I won't have to listen to your lectures all day long." He snapped, not wanting to get into it with me. Not again. "What's the big deal?"

"What's the big deal?" I whispered harshly, looking around to see if anyone else was within earshot. "Are you still drunk?" I asked, amazed at how bad he looked and smelled. "You stink, Bosco! How could you come here like this! Did you do drugs last night? Cause you aren't right!"

"I'm not drunk!" He whispered back, baring his teeth at me as he buckled his belt around his waist. "And I didn't do drugs! Jeez Faith! I had a few too many last night and I'm sick as hell today, so don't mother me!"

I recoiled, as if he had slapped me, instantly on the defensive. "Mother you? _Mother _you?" I asked incredulously, leaning in closer to him. "If Christopher even gets within ten feet of you he's gonna have a coronary! Why didn't you just call in sick!"

"And miss another opportunity to get one of your famous lectures, miss holier than thou?" He said, as he put on his boots and clipped on his ankle holster.

I held up my hands and shook my head. "Fine. I don't care what's goin on with you. I'm leaving at seven anyway, so I'll stay out of your way and you stay out of mine."

"Leavin? For what?" He asked, as he stood up, facing me.

"I have a date." I announced haughtily, pulling my shoulders back and turning my head to the side. "And Lieu let me take some personal time."

I couldn't describe the look on his face at that moment. It was a mixture of anger, upset, surprise and just plain disgust. His eyes narrowed and he looked down at the floor for a second before replying.

"So, you're ditchin me and I suppose that I have to work with Gussler, do I?" He asked, his mouth then closing and tightening into a white line.

"I wouldn't call it ditching, Bosco." I snapped, as we started to leave the room. "I'm taking a few hours off . I'm sure you'll manage." I added, as we walked down the hall toward the roll call room.

"Who's the lucky guy?" He quipped, not looking at me as we landed inside the door and slid into the two back seats. Amazingly, Christopher wasn't even in the room yet, so we were saved. For now.

"Don't even open your mouth, Bos." I whispered harshly, afraid that if he did everyone would know exactly what he'd been into the night before, and possibly, send him home. "Just keep your comments to yourself—if you can."

"So who's the guy? Or should I say unlucky guy?" He whispered back, angry that I wouldn't tell him who it was.

I ignored him and sat up strait and looked around me. Other officers were looking at us and whispering, probably either about our previous escapade or the fact that Bosco smelled like a brewery. No one actually came up to him and said anything. It was written all over their faces. Although, everyone was used to Bosco's antics; his being late, his rudeness and his childishness. Most people looked at me with that look of 'how do you do it', wondering how I could put up with him for so long. I just told them that I looked at him like he was one of my kids. It put it in a whole new perspective. Although to be honest, I hadn't felt motherly or even friendly toward him in a very long time, but no one else needed to know my personal fantasies about my partner.

And so, our Friday was pretty much a bust. Both of us were cranky, and still angry from the past week and the only thing that kept me going was knowing that I was going out with Sean in just a few short hours. Christopher had been late due to an emergency that had tied him up down at the courthouse, and when he got to roll call he dismissed us as fast as he could. He didn't even know we had been late.

Bosco got the radios, silently telling me that because he did that _one_ menial task, I could do the driving for the shift and he would just sit back and relax. As long as he kept his mouth shut, I could deal with it.

As soon as we got in the RMP, however, it started. He looked over at me as I drove around our beat, just waiting for the right moment to badger me again about who my date was with. Truthfully, I was still nervous about telling him it was with his best friend. Sean hadn't told him, and what if he was upset that I did? I had too many questions running through my mind and it was totally ruining my whole day.

"So, why can't you tell me who it is?"

Sigh.

"It's none of your business, that's why." I replied.

"I'd tell you."

Sigh.

"So? I'm not telling you."

"Why not?" He asked, seemingly really bothered.

I rolled my eyes and sighed again. "What does it matter?" I snapped.

"It doesn't." He said, shrugging. "Just tryin to make conversation with my _partner._" He replied sarcastically.

I looked over at him and pushed my sunglasses down over the bridge of my nose, not amused. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothin." He said in a stupid mocking voice, as he drummed his fingers on the dash of the car. "Ya probably don't even have a date anyway." He mumbled, looking out his window.

I laughed. I couldn't help it. He was being so childish about this, that all I could do was be amused. The harder I laughed, however, the more agitated he became. I pulled the car over to the side of the road and continued until my sides hurt. " Oh, I get it; Are you on your period, Bos? Do you need me to stop at a drug store for you?"

"That's funny, huh?" He said angrily, shaking his head and crossing his arms over his chest. "Glad that I can amuse you."

"Oh, you amuse me alright." I said, unbuckling my seatbelt and opening my door. "You gonna eat or are you just going to sit here and torture yourself about my imaginary date?"

"Gahead...I don't care about your date." He snapped, really being silly now. He unbuckled his belt, as an afterthought, and opened his door and slammed it hard. "You're really funny you know. You should give up your day job and open a comedy club."

I giggled. "Ya, the first thing I'd do is put your picture up on the front door. It'd sure bring in the customers."

He just looked at me; fire burning in those eyes of his; his nostrils flaring. I'd never seen him act so childish in the entirety of our friendship. He had definitely hit his head hard because he was acting so much worse than usual. He raised his finger and pointed at me. "That's enough out of you. Don't talk to me for the rest of the shift." He demanded.

I opened my eyes wide and laughed again, enraging him all the more. "Oh? I'm so upset. Excuse me while I cry." I said dramatically, raising my hands in mock surrender.

His jaw tightened and his face turned redder and redder and if I hadn't known him so well, I'd of swore that he was out of his mind with jealousy. "Ya? Ya? Well don't talk to me tomorrow either!" He shouted childishly.

"Oh—Boo Hoo!" I yelled, throwing up my hands in the air, really enjoying torturing him. He was being such a jerk that he totally deserved it. I opened up the door to go into Haggerty's and stood there, waiting for him to go in.

He gave me the finger and walked in ahead of me and stomped to the bar and sat down on a stool. He looked back at me and pointed again. "Don't sit here. I don't want to even look at you right now." He snapped, lacing his hands together and leaning over the counter.

I nodded, trying to keep from laughing again, walked past him and found a booth and sat down. A waitress brought me a menu and I ordered some fries and a pepsi. I didn't want to get too full but I was feeling a little hungry and I needed food to keep up my strength in order to put up with Bosco the baby until seven. I picked up the desert menu and began to read it over.

Bosco was as good as his word; he didn't look at me once during the meal. He completely ignored me and we both ate our food in silence; him at one end and me at the other. I didn't know why we had to keep fighting all the time. We were at each other's throats constantly and we hadn't been that way before. I wondered what the difference was now? We had been so close the last few months and then we were so far apart that it seemed that we didn't even know each other any more.

What had I done? What had he done?

Promptly at seven, I drove the car back to the house and parked it in the lot. I looked over at him to say goodbye but he wouldn't even look at me. He sat staring strait ahead. But he looked so lost, so sad that I immediately felt guilty for making fun of him and egging him on.

"Bos?"

He didn't reply. I sighed and unbuckled my belt and opened the door. "Maybe someday you'll tell me what's going on with you." I said softly, tired of fighting with him. Tired of having a daily battle about everything.

"Would it really matter to you if I did?" He said, still not looking at me.

Surprised, I looked down, not able to come up with an answer at that moment. "I don't know." I said after a minute.

"That's what worries me." He said, matter-of-factly, looking over at me, his face serious as I had ever seen it. "Have a good time on your date." He said and then looked away.

"Thanks."

With that, I got out of the car and started to walk into the building. I turned around and watched him get out and walk around to the drivers side and get in. I don't know why, but at that moment, I didn't even want to go out with Sean anymore. I had a sickening feeling that something had changed between us, something that could never be repaired if I went out with his friend behind his back.

But I ignored my own thoughts and went inside to get changed. I couldn't live under that cloud of illusion anymore. Bosco didn't love me; he didn't want to date me and if I had a chance at going out with someone nice than I was going to take it.

So why did I feel so guilty at that moment?


	7. Friday Fun: Part Three

**Note: In this story the events that transpired on the actual show have no bearing on the mystery person that you will meet at the end; You'll understand once you read the chapter. The story line would be more like six years but mine is between ten and eleven since Bosco dated this woman. Read on.**

**Friday Fun: Part Three**

After Faith left and I was back out on the beat, it occurred to me that I still hadn't got the name of the guy who was takin her out. It bugged me so much that I could hardly concentrate on drivin. I ran my hand through my hair and sighed. Was it ever going to end? Was I always gonna be like this when she went out with someone new?

I felt like I was goin crazy from wantin her so much. Even when I was fightin with her it was still a release, a way to let off steam without coming out and saying what I actually felt. It was the silence that really got to me; the way that we could sit and not talk for hours because we were so angry or hurt that neither of us had the energy to open our mouths and say a word. Sometimes I would catch her lookin at me out of the corner of her eye, almost like she wanted to say somethin that would forever change our relationship but as soon as I turned my head in her direction she would look out the window or down at her hands. It seemed that we were never gonna get it right.

I looked at my watch and wondered what she was doin right at that moment. Was she out to dinner? A movie? Was she all wrapped around this new guy? Was he doin what I had wanted to do to her for years, right now, while I was drivin around the city goin nuts? Was she wearin her hair down so that it hung over her shoulders; was it silky and smooth and smelling like oranges or apples or whatever it was the she put in her hair that drove me to drool? Was she wearing the big boots that made me want to drop down to my knees and beg for mercy? It was all to much for me to imagine what she looked like and exactly what she might be doing with her time that didn't include me.

"Ahhhhhh." I growled, clenching my teeth, feeling like I had been punched in the gut. I gripped the steering wheel hard and took a deep breath and let it out slowly. It didn't help.

I pulled over and parked beside a hotdog stand, hopin to get a few minutes peace without anyone coming up to me to ask for directions or tellin me that their pet dog was lost and could I help them find it? The sun was just startin to go down; the temperature starting to get a little less hot and humid and I felt like I was boilin inside. What was she doin...

I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and dialed Sean's number. We were supposed to get together the next day to play basketball and I had forgotten to tell him that I was stuck washing all the squad cars---thanks to Faith. He was a good guy; my best friend and when I was really pissed off or upset we'd always go out for a beer. He'd lean back in the booth and shake his head at me and ask what I'd done this time to make a mess out of my life—or someone elses. I'd always tell him my side of the story and sometimes he'd agree with me; other times he told me what a jerk I was, but he was the only person that I could talk to, besides Faith, who would give me their honest opinion.

One, two, three rings and there was no answer. On the fourth he picked up. "Hallo." He said in his drawl, sounding like he was quite happy.

"Hey, Sean. It's Mo. What's goin on?" I said.

"Oh, hey Boscorelli. What can I do for you?" He said in reply. Then he laughed and it sounded like he covered the phone with his hand and I couldn't make out what he was saying.

"Ah—just wonderin what you're doin later on? Wanna go get a beer or somethin?" I asked, while looking out the window at the passerby's.

He hesitated before replying. "Can't." He said quickly and then he coughed. "I'm kinda busy tonight. How bout tomorrow? After the game?"

I groaned. "Nah. I gotta go in to work for a few hours. I meant to call you but I just didn't get around to it."

He laughed. "Washing the squads, huh?"

"Ya." I said dejectedly. "Well, I'll call you tomorrow anyway." I said, wondering what I was going to do with the rest of my night.

Just then, a call came over the radio. "55-David, Report to Mercy Hospital. Possible rape and assault."

I groaned. "I gotta go Sean. I'll talk to you later." I said and hung up without waiting for him to say good bye.

I tossed the phone on the empty seat beside me and flipped the siren on and headed toward the hospital. The traffic was heavy and not one car wanted to pull over to let me by. It pissed me off to no end. I mean, why have the lights and the sirens in the first place if no one was gonna take notice and pull over like they were supposed to? The only thing worse than the job was the people involved; the stupid ones who always had to ask retarded questions or ended up making the situation worse by stickin their big noses where they weren't needed.

I got to Mercy in about twenty minutes, which was terrible considering that I was only about ten blocks away. I pulled up to the Emergency door and parked far enough back to let the EMS through if they had to. I slammed the door and walked inside. Ty and Sully were walking in ahead of me with a perp in handcuffs, his head bleeding profusely down the side of his face.

"What happened to him?" I asked, when I caught up with them.

"Poor guy hit his head on the door of the RMP." Sully said sarcastically. "Bad day to insult an officer of the law. And it looks like it's gonna be a long wait, fella."

"Too bad." I said, walking away from them, seeing Mary at the front desk. She nodded toward me as I approached her.

"Officer Boscorelli. Come right this way." She said, walking around the desk and out into the waiting area.

"Where's Yokas tonight?" She asked, looking over my shoulder.

"Took personal time. Why?" I asked.

"I don't know if you should be the one—" She mumbled, thinking about something.

"What's happening, Mary?" I asked, as I walked beside her. She looked really tired and very upset.

She shook her head. "Ten year old girl came in here about a half hour ago claiming that her step father raped her."

Instantly, my stomach tightened in anticipation. I clenched my jaw and breathed through my nose, hard. I hated these calls worse than any other. The only thing that was more awful than a man beating a woman was people who hurt kids. They were the kind of people that I wish I had permission to beat to death and then toss into the dump, like the garbage they were.

"How old didja say she was?" I asked, hoping I'd heard wrong.

"Ten." Mary said softly. "And she's pretty banged up too." She added, looking at me with sympathy and anger. "Bastard tore her from one end to the other, so I don't think there will be any problem prosecuting him."

I had to suppress the urge to throw up and stopped walking. I leaned back against the cool wall and put my hands over my face for a minute. I wished Faith was with me right about then. She always handled the talking part, or most of it, cause she knew I couldn't handle it.

I breathed heavily through my hands. "Oh, man. Has the mother been notified?" I asked weakly.

"She's on her way here. I had to request that her husband not accompany her. The little girl completely freaked out when I told her that I'd have to call her mother. She said she'd kill herself if he showed up too. But you know what the worst of it was?" She asked.

"There's more?"

" She didn't even ask why we didn't want him here." Mary said, sounding a bit suspicious. " You might want to ask her about that when you see her.'

"What's her name?" I asked, starting to walk toward the room with Mary.

"Lilly Nicholson." She said. "If she can't talk to you then let me know. I"ll call someone else. Maybe a woman officer would be better."

"Okay, thanks." I said, and then took a deep breath and opened the door to the room and stepped inside. The smell of rubbing alcohol, mixed with sterilizing agents filled my nostrils as I pulled the curtain back, revealing a very small, blond girl who was sitting up on the bed, hugging her knees to her chest and rocking back and forth. She wore a blue hospital gown that was pulled tightly against her pale skin.

"Lilly?" I said softly, slowly pulling the curtain back all the way so that I wouldn't scare her.

She looked up at me, her huge blue eyes staring blankly at me, almost as if she were in a trance. She was in shock, I knew that right away, but those blue eyes were haunting and I could tell they knew a million secrets, horrible secrets of which only one was apparent at that moment. She blinked over and over again and I knew she was far, far away within herself where no one could hurt her.

Her eyes would haunt me until the day that I died.

My heart constricted, the agony of what had happened to this innocent girl, almost knocking me down, as I watched her looking at me. God forgive me, but all I could think about at that moment was how much like Faith this child looked. Her blond hair went to the middle of her back the same way Faith's did and for a moment I knew what my own daughter would look like if I had a child with the woman I loved.

This child made me feel paternal in a way that I'd never felt before. Her face cried out to me to help her. To do anything to make it better. It made me feel sick inside, so sick and angry that I could hardly concentrate on asking the important questions that were pertinent right then. All I wanted to do was gather her in my arms and hold her until the pain went away. To make her safe and secure and to let her knew that it would never happen again. But all I could do was take a report. I felt so useless not being able to do more.

"Lilly, honey?" I asked again, as I took a step toward the chair that sat beside the bed. "I'm Officer Boscorelli. I"m a policeman and I'm here to help you." I said in my softest voice.

She cringed and held herself tighter, seemingly shrinking inside of herself. She wanted to disappear. She continued to rock back and forth, small whimpering noises, barely audible, coming from within.

"I'm not gonna hurt you, sweetie. I want you to tell me what happened—if you can. If you can't, then don't worry about it right now, but it would really help me if you could tell me who did this to you." I said, sitting down and taking out my notebook and flipping it open. I grabbed a pen from my pocket and bit the cover off and put it in the pocket of my uniform. All the while she stared at me, her eyes watering.

"He did."

"Who did, hon? You have to tell me his name." I said, leaning forward a bit.

She moved as far away from me as she could and narrowed her eyes at me. "You know. You all know." She said accusingly. "And no one does anything to help."

"I don't know. What do you mean, Lilly? How would I know who did this to you?" I asked, getting an even sicker feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"My step-dad. He did this to me." She said, her eyes starting to fill with tears. "You're not going to tell him are you?"

"Lilly, you need to tell me everything you can about him so that I can put him away. The more information you can give me the more I can help you." I said. "Now, when did this happen?"

"Today. Before I went to school."

"Do you know what time it was?"

She tilted her head back, thinking. "It was right after my mommy went to work. He was supposed to take me to school because she had a meeting to go to."

"How did you get here, Lilly?" I asked, looking down at my notepad as I scribbled madly, trying to get everything written down.

"When he dropped me off at school I pretended to go inside and then I took the bus here." She said.

"You know how to get around the city by yourself?" I asked, surprised that a ten year old would be able to find her way.

"You won't tell my step-dad will you?" She asked again, her blue eyes burning into mine, pleading with me to keep her secret.

I didn't know what to say. Honestly, I wanted to go right out and strangle the guy but I knew that he would be notified, starting with me going to get his ass and arresting him. But I couldn't lie to her. I couldn't tell her that he wouldn't find out. He was gonna find out just how much child molesters were hated in the jail system. I'd make sure every perp knew exactly what he'd done.

"Honey, he won't ever touch you again. You've been very brave to come here and tell us about this." I said. "And I'm going to arrest him and put him in jail and he won't ever hurt you again."

"But he will!" She cried out. "He always does! You can't stop him! He knows people and they won't believe me. They never believe." She implored wildly, searching my face to make me understand.

"What do you mean he always does? Has he done this to you before?" I asked, feeling angrier by the second.

She nodded and then bit down on her lower lip. "For a long time." She said, looking away from me. She shivered and rubbed her tiny arms over her legs, trying to warm herself up.

I ran a hand over my mouth and grinded my teeth together, trying to hold myself together for her sake as well as my own. "Okay, this is what we're gonna do." I said, standing up and grabbing a blanket off of the bed and opening it up. "I'm gonna put this blanket over you" I said, advancing toward her and literally dropping it on her lap. I didn't want to get too close and upset her. "And you stay here and warm up a bit. I have to call someone and I'll be right back." I said, stepping back, giving her space.

"You promise?" She asked, snuggling into the blanket and looking up at me, her eyes begging for me to protect her. She wanted to believe in someone and I didn't want to let her down. Come hell or highwater, I was gonna get this bastard and make sure he was punished for what he did. "What if he comes in here?"

I shook my head, venom running through my brain. "No one is coming in here, Lilly. No one but your mother, when she gets here. I'll make sure a Policeman stands outside this door until I come back. Is that okay?"

"Will I have to go home with her?" She asked. "Do I have to go back there?" She asked again, sounding panicky.

I thought for a moment. I knew that there was something deeper going on, something that I knew instinctively wasn't right. She was afraid of her mother and that only happened when a child didn't trust the parent or they knew what was going on and didn't stop it. "I'll try to stop that from happening, but you need to tell me some more information. Can you do that, Lilly?"

"Okay."

"Okay. Now, what's your mother's name?"

"Nicole Nicholson."

"And your step-father's name?"

"Tony Nicholson." I wrote it down on the pad and then looked up at her again.

"Honey, why didn't you tell anyone before?"

"He said he would do it worse the next time if I did and he said he'd kill David."

I felt the bile making its way through my system and up my throat. Worse? What was worse that what he'd done? Killing her?

"Who's David?"

"My little brother. He's four."

"Your brother? Does he do it to David too?"

"No. Just me. Because I'm pretty but I don't want to be pretty anymore." She said, the tears finally falling down her cheeks. "My mom says that I should want to be pretty, like her, but I don't want to."

"Does your mom know what your step dad does to you?" I asked, my voice all but breaking.

She didn't answer. Only stared at me again, her silence confirming my fear. "I'm going to call someone and see what we can do. And while you wait I'm gonna get my friend Ty to stand outside the door and no one will come in. Will that make you feel better?" I asked, hoping that Sully and Davis were still in the waiting room.

She nodded and sank back down on the bed and curled up on her side. "You promise?" She asked again.

"I promise, Lilly. I'll go get him right now." I said, walking toward the door. I went out into the hall and saw Mary talking to a doctor about five feet away. "Mary? Can I see you for a sec?"

She put her finger out toward me, telling me to hold on and turned back to the doctor. I stood my ground, outside the door, afraid that if I went more than a foot that the slimy jag-off would find his way into the room and threaten the girl. Finally, Mary walked toward me.

"Did she talk to you?" She asked, frowning slightly.

"Ya. She did. She said her mother knows about the abuse. She's scared to death that she's gonna have to go home with her tonight. Is there anything we can do to stop the mother from taking her?"

Mary put her hands into the pockets of her white lab coat and sighed. "She said that her mother knows and did nothing about it?"

I nodded.

"Well, I can put a call into child services and see what we can do." She said. "But I gotta tell you that it may take a while."

"Can't we say that she needs to stay in hospital for a few days?"

"I don't know. I'll have to see what happens. We can't keep her here falsely."

"Make it up!" I demanded. "You didn't see the way she looked at me, Mary! She's scared out of her damn mind. Ya gotta find a way."

"Officer—"

"Mary—Please!" I implored, holding my hands out to her. "We gotta find a way to help her or she goes back with that bastard and who knows what he'll do to her. This is the first time she ever told anyone."

She nodded, seeing that I was about to break. "Bosco, why don't you go get a cup of coffee or something. Calm down a bit. The mother is going to be here any minute and you need to stay focused."

"I don't have time for coffee right now, Mary!" I all but shouted. "I have to see if Sully and Ty are still here. I gotta put a call into my Lieu and see if we can go arrest this guy and see if we can get her placed before the mom gets here. But can you stay here in front of her door until I see if Ty will guard it for me?"

She nodded and I was off like a rocket into the waiting room to see if I could find Ty. I scanned the crowd until I saw him standing back to, talking to a tall blond haired officer that I had never seen before. I walked over and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Davis, can I talk to you a second?" I asked, interrupting the conversation. The other guy stopped talking and gave me a dirty look. "Davis—it's important."

He turned to me, a quizzical look on his face. "Hey man, I"m talking here. Can it wait a second?" And turned back to his friend.

I tapped on his shoulder again, irritated. "No! It can't wait. I need you to come with me for a minute." I said.

His friend gave me a queer look as Ty turned back to me. "Bosco—I'll be right with you."

I stood back and crossed my arms over my chest. "Ty, I need to talk to you right now. It can't wait."

The blond haired guy gave me the once over and then turned his nose up at me. "Can't you see we're having a conversation, fella?" He said, narrowing his blue eyes at me.

"I don't care,_ fella_." I said staunchly, not movin from my spot. "I need ta talk to him. And it's none of your damn business...so move along."

It was rude, I know, but I needed to talk to Ty right then and there and if the jag-off couldn't understand that, well then too bad for him. The guy didn't give me a good vibe anyway, with his snotty face and his arrogant attitude as he stood there lookin like he owned the world and everythin in it.

Ty turned back to his friend and shook his head. "Sorry Sonny. I'll just be a sec."

Sonny snorted and then waved his hand at me, dismissing me. "Whatever. I've gotta go take care of something anyway." He started to walk away and then turned back and pointed at me. "You aughta learn some manners, man."

"Whatever." I said and turned to Ty, who was looking me, real pissed off.

"What is your problem, man?" He asked, irritated by my rudeness. He crossed his arms over his chest.

"Nothing that you can't help with." I said, motioning for him to follow me down the corridor. "You need to stand outside a door for me until I get back from the phone."

"Stand outside a door? For what?"

I sighed, not wanting to get into a full conversation about why. "Can you just do it and I'll tell you later?"

"No. I think you better tell me now before I get real pissed off at you for bein such a jerk." He said, but he followed me anyway.

"Look, there's a little girl in room four-oh-nine and she's been raped by her step-father. I'm gonna call social services but she's scared that he's gonna come through the door or somethin." I explained as we neared her room. "I jus want ya ta stand outside the door until I get back."

He stopped mid-track. "Ten? She's ten?" The expression on his face was a toss-up between horror and disgust. "Did she say who the bastard is?"

"Ya. And he raped her more than once. She told me the mother knows about it but does nothin to stop it. I jus want her to feel safe for once." I said.

He nodded. "Sure thing. I'll be right here. If you see Sully tell him that I'm down here, will ya?"

That was the best thing about Ty Davis; he always wanted to do the right thing. He never complained about doing something as long as it was for the right reason. I was grateful that he didn't want to know any other details. Being Davis, he just wanted to make things right; and I respected the hell out of him for it.

I nodded as I opened the door to the room. "Lilly? It's Officer Boscorelli." I called as I came into the room.

"Lilly, my friend Ty is a police officer and he's gonna stand right outside until I come back, okay?" I asked, as I neared the bed. She was fast asleep curled up in the fetal position. The poor kid was probably exhausted from all she'd been through.

Again I felt a pang of paternal instinct rip through my heart as I watched her. Her eyes were squeezed shut tight, her mouth set into a grimace. Thinking she was cold, I brought the hospital blanket up around her thin shoulders and noticed a huge purplish black bruise on her neck that ran down under the gown. I gingerly lifted the opening and stared down at one of the biggest bruises I'd ever seen and gasped.

Not wanting to disturb her, I set it down and covered my face with my hands for a second. How in God's name could anyone do this to a child? I knew from my own tormented childhood that it took a special kind of monster to inflict those wounds. My own father had beat me and my brother to a pulp for as long as I could remember. It was a nice vacation for him from beatin my ma.

There was a special place reserved in hell for the people who hurt kids; and may they pray to God to be with them because no one else on this earth would be. I seriously doubted that even God would protect the child molesters and the monsters of this world. At least I hoped he wouldn't.

I started to walk around the side of the bed when there was a light knocking at the door and then Ty poked his head through.

"Bos, the mother's here." He said and then rolled his eyes backward. "It's a b-o-a-m." He added, to let me know what kind of personality she seemed to have. "And Bos, you_ know _her."

A b-o-a-m stood for a 'bitch of a mother'. We used this term when we felt that a mother displayed certain nasty qualities from the start. When dealing with child abuse the mother, especially, always had one of two reactions; either they were devastated, crying and terribly distraught, or they were a bitch. The ones who acted bitchy were guaranteed to have known about the abuse before, or they just didn't believe it and generally tended to blame the kids for making up stories.

"Send her in." I said, trying to act a tiny bit professional and more than a little curious as to who this woman was that I knew. I stood to the side of the bed and crossed my arms over my chest.

The door opened immediately and a tall blonde came in wearing a black pantsuit that clung tightly to her shapely body. I stood rooted to my spot as my mouth hung wide open. I could hardly believe my eyes; I hadn't seen this woman for at least ten years and hadn't planned on seeing her ever again.

It was Nicole. My Nicole.


	8. Friday Fun: Part Four

**Friday Fun: Part Four**

I never thought that going out on a first date could be so nerve-wracking and wonderful all at the same time. I knew that for as long as I lived I would never forget the anticipation and the butterflies that engulfed my stomach and made it feel tingly, as when Sean came to pick me up.

Funny how as soon as I was away from Bosco and on my way home, I felt as though I were freeing myself from some invisible hold that he had on me. I couldn't believe that I had actually felt guilty for going out on a date when he was probably going to go out after work and pick up the first woman he saw. It seemed that I was doing a lot of growing since my divorce and truthfully, I was proud of myself for waiting for a really nice guy. Bosco wasn't the only guy in the world and I was a woman with needs. And for at least one night I wanted to feel like a woman who knew what she wanted; a woman who could command the attention of an attractive man and feel sexy and alive and I knew that Sean Kelly was just the man to help me accomplish this.

Just as I was spraying on some perfume and making last minute alterations to my makeup and hair, the doorbell rang. I was in the bathroom looking at myself in the mirror and wondering if it was possible for me to look any better than I did right at that moment, when I heard the unmistakable sound of the chimes. I took in a deep breath and smiled at myself.

"You look great. You can do this." I said as I smoothed down the front of my dress with my sweaty palms and then ran my hands over my newly conditioned hair that hung half way down my back, silky and smooth.

I didn't remember ever looking so good; and it wasn't just that I felt good; I looked frigging fantastic. My dress clung to all the right places, my makeup was flawless; my blue eyes brightened by new eye-shadow and mascara and my lips shiny and alluring (that's what the sales lady at Macy's told me) with my new forty dollar lip gloss. My hair was perfect after using a new conditioner that my neighbor swore by and it was like a molten gold crown that topped off all the rest.

I felt like a million bucks...and I knew I looked like it too.

I popped a piece of gum into my freshly mouth-washed mouth and did one last check at myself and then walked to the front door and swung it open. If I thought that I had made special preparations for this date; so did he.

He stood before me dressed in a black suit with a red tie that matched my dress to perfection. He wore classy black dress shoes and his dark hair was cut short and styled very well. He wore a pinky ring on his left hand that had a small diamond in the middle. I could tell that he had shaved but there was evidence of a five-oh-clock shadow growing beneath his well shaped jaw and on his sides.

He was a classically handsome man, beautiful in a way that was depicted in magazines and on television. He was taller than me, perhaps five inches or so, with a fabulous body that radiated sexuality and confidence with a little mix of mischievousness. His eyes sparkled devilishly as I pulled the door back and he smiled widely when he saw me; his beautiful orbs delighting in, and obviously appreciative of how much preparation I had put into getting ready for him to take me out.

"Well, aren't I the luckiest man in New York tonight." He said in his deep baritone voice, sending chills down my entire body and spreading into my stomach.

I grinned and ran my tongue over my lips in a flirty way. "I guess that makes me the luckiest woman." I said, stepping back to allow him to come in. "Would you like to come in?"

"I would. Thank you." He said, walking past me. "You look absolutely fabulous tonight, Faith." He said as he walked into the livingroom.

"Thanks. So do you."

"I try." He said. He sat down on the couch and crossed one leg over the other and looked around. "Nice place you have here."

"Thank you. It's home." I commented lightly as I walked over and sat down next to him. I was close but not too close. I could feel the flush in my cheeks as I looked over at him. "Would you like a drink or something before we go?"

"No thanks. Actually, we have reservations for nine so we should get going." He said, flashing a grin at me. "Did I tell you how amazing you look?"

I laughed. "Yes. I think you did. And once again, I thank you." I said, feeling somewhat foolish. I hadn't flirted seriously in years and years. I had no idea what I was doing.

I stood up and walked over to the closet and took out my wrap to drape over my shoulders. I grabbed my purse and stood back and watched him walk closer to me. His eyes drank me in; the intensity of his gaze made me nervous as he approached me and leaned down to kiss my cheek.

"I'm glad you wanted to do this."

I closed my eyes, savoring the smell of his aftershave, thinking about what it would be like to kiss him on the lips. When he pulled back, all I could do was smile and try not to melt into a puddle on the floor.

"I'm glad you did too."

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We ended up at a place in Manhattan called Serendipity's. It was a wonderful restaurant that had the best food that I'd ever eaten and it was probably the most expensive place I'd ever been. Sean ordered for both of us, which was something that I'd never had done on a date. Fred's idea of a date was getting a bucket of chicken and then making love on the floor of the livingroom while simultaneously watching the baseball game on tv. Sean was altogether the most classy date I'd ever had and it made me all the more nervous.

The main course was delicious; it was a Cajun menu complete with a shrimp gumbo with wild duck and brown rice and I had to keep myself from licking the plate when it was empty. I learned that Sean's mother was from New Orleans and that he spent almost every summer there as a kid and that was why he loved Cajun/ Creole food. We went through a bottle and a half of wine over dinner and by eleven o'clock we were both pretty much drunk, which was okay with me because it made me feel more comfortable. We had chocolate cheesecake with whip cream for dessert that was to die for and I could feel the pounds attaching themselves to my hips with every bite. But it was worth it.

We talked about everything; our families, my kids and my divorce; His family, mother, father and siblings. My dreams and aspirations were something that he was very interested in, which was funny because I wasn't aware that I wanted so much until someone actually asked me about it.

He told me that he had gotten out of a serious relationship about eight months previous; she had dumped him for a richer man...three days before their wedding date. He seemed perturbed by it and I didn't press. I mean, who wanted to know everything about ex's on the first date? He talked passionately about his job working for Donald Trump and expressed interest in so many things that I found it hard to keep up.

He worked out at the gym three days a week and on alternate days jogged through Central Park. He loved to read, especially Stephen King and he loved old movies. The more I heard him speak, the more I realized that I hadn't been living at all and that very night I promised myself that I would never again let one day slip by without doing something that I loved. He moved me that much.

Toward the end of our time at Serendipity's he broached the subject of Bosco. We hadn't talked about him at all for the entire evening, which was fine by me, but I realized that it had to come up sometime.

"So, how long have you known Mo?"

"Mo?" I asked, not sure who he was talking about. I reached over and filled my glass with wine and took a sip.

"Ya—your partner, my best friend." He said, grinning, as he refilled his glass and looked at me playfully.

"Oh." I said, feeling stupid. "I guess it's been about twelve—almost thirteen years now."

"I've known Mo for as long as I could remember and you're the first woman who he ever retained a relationship with for more than three weeks. That's gotta be some kind of record. He really thinks a lot of you, you know. I still didn't tell him about us going out. I get the feeling that he really didn't want it to happen. Do you think he was jealous?" He asked.

I ignored the question and smiled.

"And I take it you didn't tell him either?" He pressed, seemingly very interested to know the answer.

"No. I didn't." I said. "It wasn't any of his business and after he told you I was a lesbian I thought that he didn't deserve to know."

"How do you put up with him?" He asked, grinning again. Gosh, how that man loved to grin!

I laughed and threw my head back. "How? You don't know how many people have asked me that. But seriously, I wouldn't want to do this job if he wasn't my partner. He's got my back no matter what happens. I know that he'd lay down his life for me."

"And you'd lay down yours for him?"

"Of course. That's the job."

Sean leaned forward and put his elbows on the table, his chin resting in his well manicured hands. "But what does he mean to you? Other than the job because I get the feeling that there's much more there."

It seemed like a simple question and it really was. In some ways he was the most juvenile, irritating, crass man I'd ever met but in other ways he was unlike any man I'd ever known; he was caring, he was sensitive by times and I knew that he had a respect for me that was almost holy. But I couldn't say any of that for fear that Sean would see right through me and realize that I'd fantasized about my own partner for years. And even though I wanted to believe that it was over; that I was done with wishing for something that would never happen, it was hard to talk about Bosco and not let the depth of my emotions come to the surface.

"We're friends."

"Friends?"

I chose my words carefully. "Good friends. It's hard not to be when you really only have each other."

"How so?"

"When you're a cop there's pressures and feelings that go with the territory that is hard to explain to anyone else. I understand him and he understands me. Everything that we go through, we go through it together and I know what's it like to see such misery, such terrible things, that you can't even imagine." I explained, looking down into my glass, not looking at him.

"And you don't talk to any other cops? I mean, besides each other?"

"We do—it's just that we have kind of—uh—" I searched for the right words. "We have grown together for the last thirteen years and sometimes it's kind of hard to separate him from me. We're like one person by times. The way we don't have to say a word. We just know how the other is feeling. I guess to make a long story short—he's my best friend." I said, picking up my glass again and taking a big sip.

"Does he know that?"

"Know what?"

"That you're only friends?"

I set the glass down, shocked. What kind of question was that? I got the feeling that Sean was fishing to see exactly what my relationship with Bosco was and it took me to a place that I didn't really want to discuss. I had gone for years and wondered about it; had dreamed about it; had questioned it; and now he was wanting to know if there was something more.

"What do you mean?"

"Faith, does he know that you're only friends? Because he didn't want me to know that you were available and he really didn't want me to know that you were even strait—I just wonder if I'm treading on something that is better left between you two." He said, carefully, slowly, like he was afraid that he was taking away Bosco's one true love or something.

"Of course not! We're friends. That's it. He doesn't think of me that way. He really doesn't." I said emphatically.

"That's all?" He asked, seemingly relieved. "Because I want to tell him that we went out. I don't want it to be a secret. He's my best friend too."

"I swear on my mother's life." I said, giggling. The wine had gone to my head.

"Good." He said softly, leaning toward me.

At that moment I knew he was going to kiss me and I knew that it was the last moment I had to make the decision between him and Bosco.

And what did I do?

I leaned in for one of the best kisses I'd ever had in my entire life.


	9. End of the Day

**Friday Fun: End of the Day**

It took me a few seconds for my eyes to adjust to seeing the very woman who had broken my heart and left it bleeding in my hands. Nicole had been the only woman (at that time) that I considered marrying and starting a family with. As it turned out, she had quite a past that she didn't want to talk about and considering that she'd slept with half the cops in the city, it was apparent that I wasn't as special as I thought I was.

At the time I remember telling Faith that I really thought she might be the one. I also remember the look on her face when I said it; like I was an alien and had no absolutely no brains whatsoever. She was right.

When I found out that she had slept with so many different guys I was so angry and when I'm angry I act really stupid (no surprise). I got Faith to come with me to her shop and I confronted her face to face. The end result was that she was really angry with me and I felt much worse. That very night she broke up with me. I was hurt but I didn't let on. Most guys don't.

I'll admit that over time I thought about her; not so much in a way that I'd want to date her again, but I did wonder what she was doin and who she was doin it with. There were memories in my brain of me and her; me and her in some wild situations doin some pretty kinky stuff. A fella just can't block that stuff from his brain. But I got over it. Eventually.

Time had been good to her; much better than it had been to me. She was always a classy looking woman, but she had gotten better looking in the years since she had walked away from me. Her body was still hard and curvy; her hair was longer, but now it was more subtle looking; more soft. She still looked like a call girl; a classy one at that. And I very much doubted that she'd changed her wild ways even if she had kids. She had kids. I couldn't believe it.

And here she was; standing in front of me, her blond hair disheveled and messy looking; her blue eyes wild and almost angry looking _until_ she stopped and stared at me. I moved myself closer to the bed and stood rooted, showing Lilly that I was going to protect her no matter what.

"Maurice?" She said, cocking her head to the side and giving me a half smile, the smile that had got me in trouble in the first place. "How long has it been?" She set the bag on the bed and smoothed her hair down, as I watched in complete shock at her lack of attention to Lilly; the reason she was here in the first place.

I narrowed my eyes, annoyed that she'd be so crass and not even look at the kid. "Not long 'nuff." I grumbled. "'sides, I think that I should be the last thing on your mind right now."

Her smile wilted as she looked at me. "Well you don't have to be such a jerk you know. You could at least kiss me hello."

I snickered. "Kiss you?" I asked, giving her a dirty look. "Your daughter has been assaulted and you want me to kiss you hello?"

She turned to Lilly, who was still lying down on the bed curled up in the fetal position, watching us. She yanked the blanket down off of her and threw it on the floor and then started closer. That's when I stepped in and put my hands up.

"What the hell do you think you're doin?"

"You don't know her, Maurice!" She hissed, while giving Lilly a dirty look.

I looked over at her and what I saw chilled me. The blue sheet beneath her had turned a darker color upon seeing her mother. The kid was so scared that she'd wet herself and her blue eyes darted over to me, pleading for me to keep her safe.

Nicole saw it too and pounded her fist against her shapely thigh. "Lilly! Can't you get up and take yourself to the bathroom? How could you do this?" She yelled, causing the girl to start shaking. "She makes up things sometimes, Maurice. You just have to take my word on it."

"Stand back, Nicole." I said sharply, pointing toward the door. "Actually, I want to speak to you outside."

She huffed. "You can't order me around, Maurice. I'm not your girlfriend anymore. This is my kid and I'll deal with her the way I want to. She's making it all up. She lies."

I sucked in my breath and fought back the urge to hit the woman. "She's been raped." I said through gritted teeth, while motioning for her to get the hell outside the room before I physically threw her out. "and we have the results to prove it. She's not lying."

Nicole flashed another look towards her daughter, but relented and let me guide her to the door. She didn't even say a word to Lilly. I felt like I was in the twilight zone where everything that was happening _shouldn't_ be and everything that _should _be wasn't. What kind of a mother didn't believe her own child when it came to something as heinous and sinister as being raped by your step-father? I was havin a hard time from screamin at her or trying to shake some sense into her ass.

"I'll be right back sweetheart." I said, kindly, looking over my shoulder and feeling sick to my stomach with rage. My hands actually shook as I held on to Nicole's elbow.

"Don't leave me." Lilly said, her big blue eyes filling with tears.

"It'll be fine. Davis will sit outside your door until I come back." I said and winked at her.

Once outside, I let go of her and put my hands on my hips. "What the hell do you think you're doin? Jeez, Nicole, if I didn't know better I'd say that you hate your own child."

She turned around and backed up to the wall and put her head back against the cool tile and gave me another one of her nasty stares. "Maurice, stop trying to save the world. You don't know what it's been like for me; trying to raise an absolute rotten apple."

I put my hand over my mouth for a sec, tryin to stifle the curse words that threatened to break lose from within me. "Nicole, we have all the evidence we need. Her father is gonna be charged with rape, assault and battery and anything else we can get him on."

"Tony isn't her father." She said, void of all emotion, like she didn't have a care in the world. "She has never met her biological father." She added queerly.

"So?" I said, impatiently. "He's still gonna be charged. And just who is this son of a bitch anyway? How long have you been married?"

"My husband's name is Tony Nicholson. He's not a son of a bitch. He's actually head and shoulders above you and we've been married for ten years. I'd know if he was molesting her." She said meanly. "Maybe someone else did it to her. Did you ever think of that?" She asked.

I blanched. "Someone else? What—are you nuts? You seriously don't believe Lilly? She gave me details, Nicole. Details that will stand up in court—when it goes to court and you can bet your _ass_ that he's going to jail for a long time."

They had been married for ten years. That was just as soon as she had broken up with me. She moved really fast. I wasn't even going to touch that subject, or at least try not to.

"He won't go to jail. Get serious. He's too high up for that."

"High up? How's that?"

"He's a cop. The same as you." She said, grinning her evil smile at me. "Actually, he outranks you. He's from the forty-ninth precinct. It's a much better one than you come from."

"A cop? Why am I surprised?"

"You know I like cops. I've always liked them."

"And when did you meet him? Before or after you and me?" I asked. It was stupid, I know but I had to know if he was the reason why things had soured between us, that was before I had gone and accused her of being a slut...which it turned out that she was.

"Are you asking me if I was unfaithful?"

"What does it sound like?" I bit back.

"It sounds like you're a jealous ex boyfriend. And to answer your question; Yes. I cheated on you. He made me an offer I couldn't refuse." She said grinning again.

It didn't matter at that point what she did or didn't say. The feelings of hatred that ran through my body were making my blood boil. It shouldn't have mattered if she cheated on me with him. Why should it matter now? It just pissed me off that she was being so rude about it; so obnoxious.

"You really are a piece of work, Nicole."

"Look, Maurice, it's been a long day. Can we talk about this later?" She said, rubbing her temples with her well manicured fingertips. "I have to call my lawyer."

"For Lilly?" I asked. "Or for Tony?"

She sighed, exasperated. "Look, this has happened before. She always makes up stuff to get my attention. It doesn't mean anything."

"Mean anything? Are you listening to yourself?" I nearly shouted, throwing my hands up into the air. "We have proof that he raped her. Do you care at all? She's scared to death here!"

She moved away from the wall and faced me, calculating her next move. "Of course I care. I care what happens when my kid accuses—"

"_Accuses_? Nicole, I'm writing up a report on this one. You aren't fit." I said pointing my finger at her. I turned and walked over to Davis who was still sitting on a chair on the opposite side of the door. "Stay with her. Don't walk away even for a piss until I get back."

"Go ahead. We've been down this road before." She said, waving me away. "Go write your little report, Maurice. We all know what kind of a cop you are anyway." She added.

I stopped dead in my tracks and slowly turned around. "What did you say?"

She smirked and shook her head at me. "I said we all know what kind of a cop you are." She accused, her pouty lips turning into a sneer. "You don't do your job right. Your bigoted, racist and not up to the task of being a real police officer. No one in their right mind would listen to anything you said. Especially to a whiny, bent out of shape man who was dumped by me years ago."

"Are you seriously suggesting that my being dumped by you, which was a blessing in disguise I might add, would have anything to do with your husband raping your own child?" I said, flabbergasted at the thought that she really thought that he would get out of it on account of me?

"Bos, walk away." Came Davis's voice from behind me. "She's not worth it."

"Ya, Maurice. Walk away. Leave this to the big boys." She said snidely.

I looked over at him, reading his eyes, eyes that told me that I could really screw up everything for Lilly if I didn't follow protocol.

"Fine." I said, flashing her a cool look. "I'm calling Social Services now and it will be a pleasure for them to hear everything you've just told me."

I turned around and walked away from her, and I didn't look back. She was dead to me, as dead as all the others I had left behind. A new fire burned within my soul; a fire that was deadly and hot. As long as I lived and breathed I wouldn't rest until Lilly Nicholson was safe.

And like the fool I was most of the time, I didn't stop to think about how many pieces of the puzzle were missing. And how involved I was going to become; and already was.


	10. Reach for the Stars

**Reach for the Stars**

Sean and I ended up going for a long walk around different parts of Manhattan. The night was beautiful with shiny stars accenting the blue black sky with their brilliance as we walked along the city streets. With his arm in mine we strolled along at a lazy pace, the smell of his aftershave tickling my senses with its sweet smell.

The kiss that we had shared in the restaurant had been wonderful; not too long but not too short, with just a hint of tongue and enough to make me want to do a lot more with him. Even though we hadn't spoken about it, I had the feeling that he was looking for someone special to spend time with; a woman who was his equal in all ways. The thought both excited me and scared me. I decided to not think about it too much for fear that I would ruin everything.

"So, how old are your kids again?" He asked as we walked toward the parkade where his Porsche was parked.

"Emily is sixteen and Charlie is twelve."

"I always wanted kids." He said, a faraway look crossing over his handsome face. "Two boys and two girls."

I laughed. "That's a lot. I don't know if I could deal with that much stress."

"I bet you could. You seem to be a very strong woman, Faith."

Strong? Well, that was one word to use. One that I wouldn't have picked first, but it sounded good coming from my present company. I tightened my grip on his arm and snuggled my head against his shoulder for a second and to my surprise he leaned down and gently kissed the top of my head.

"This has been a really great night, Sean. Thank you."

"You're welcome." He answered, un-linking his arm from mine and draping it across my shoulder and squeezing it gently. "I can't remember having this much fun since Sarah left."

"Sarah?" I said, and then it dawned on me. "Oh, your ex-fiancé?"

"Ya. She really took it outta me, you know. After her I thought that my life was over and I didn't see myself ever meeting anyone new." He said with a hint of sadness in his voice. "Until now."

I blushed. "Me either. I havn't had a date for years and years and I was totally freaked out at the prospect of seeing someone new."

He stopped walking and turned my shoulders toward him. "And how do you feel now?"

"Now?"

"Are you still freaked out?"

"In a good way."

"Good." He said, and drew me into his arms. He leaned down and gave me another kiss. "I knew that Mo was right about you."

"Right? About what?"

"Well, he told me one time that no other woman could hold a candle to you." He said, as we started walking again.

That made my heart stop. What the hell did that mean? That was the kind of thing that a boyfriend or husband would say, not a best friend. Was it possible that Bosco had deeper feelings for me than he cared to admit?

"I might just be the only female on the planet that can put up with him. That's probably what he meant." I said, feeling a little strange. "Bosco isn't exactly the easiest guy to be around sometimes."

"Either way, I'm just glad that you didn't take him up on his offer to go camping this weekend. Otherwise I would have missed out on this amazing night." He said as we reached the parkade. We walked into the elevator and took it to the forth floor and out into the top deck where he was parked.

"Camping? He didn't ask me to go camping." I said slowly, not understanding what he was talking about. Camping? "He said that?"

"Ya. He said that the two of you had plans for this weekend to go to Cagadaska Lake at some cabin that he was renting. That's why I was so surprised that you wanted to go to dinner tonight."

I stood there looking out over the city, its lights twinkling magically, the wind blowing my hair around my face in soft wisps, and didn't know what to say. Why would Bosco say something like that? Why would he bother lying to Sean? It didn't make any sense.

"He never asked me to go camping, Sean. I don't know why he'd say that." I confessed softly. "The only thing that I had plans for this weekend was washing all of the squad cars on Saturday morning."

"Why would he tell me that then?"

I shook my head, which was starting to ache. "I don't know. He seems a little weird lately." I said, turning back to him and offering a weak smile. "Maybe he just wanted to keep your friendship to himself. After all, he didn't want us to go out. Maybe he thinks it's too weird or something."

Sean laughed as he unlocked the passenger side door. "Ya. Or maybe he wants you all to himself."

"He doesn't feel that way about me, Sean. I'm not his type and you can trust me on that."

"If you say so."

I shivered and wrapped my arms around myself protectively, feeling the chill inside as well as out. It seemed that I was about to embark in a tug-of-war between my feelings for Bosco and Sean. So far Sean was wonderful; he was sweet and kind and the kind of man that really knew how to take care of a woman. But then there was my partner of almost thirteen years. His face loomed before me as I walked around to my side of the black sports car and sat inside, mutely pleading for me to stop and think things over before I got in too deep. The thought crossed my mind that maybe Bosco knew something about Sean that I didn't and that was why he didn't want me to go out with him.

What if Sean was the kind of guy who used a woman and then dumped them flat? Would I be one of his conquests or was he serious about wanting something real?

Sean shut the door and then walked over to his side and slid in easily. His graceful hands guided the wheel casually as he drove toward my apartment. I watched him out of the corner of my eye for a moment and then turned and stared out the window, a huge conflict growing within me.

Even though I had had the best date of my entire life; had the best kiss and was treated like a queen, why was it that all I could think about at that moment was Bosco?

By the time Sean pulled up in front of my building I knew that I had to stop torturing myself with questions that I would never have the answers to. I bit down on my lower lip, wondering why I was feeling this way after one of the greatest nights of my life. I felt confused; I felt guilty and most of all I felt empty.

What the hell was wrong with me?

"Penny for your thoughts."

I turned around and faced him, smiling faintly, almost ruefully. "Just thinking that this was the best date I've ever been on. Sad huh?"

He shook his head and smiled winningly. "Not sad." He said, reaching over and tucking a strand of hair behind my hair. "It's wonderful, classy and very much a turn on." He rubbed my cheek with his thumb. "Very much."

"Do you always know the right things to say?" I teased, leaning my cheek into his hand more firmly. I half closed my eyes and gave him a dreamy smile.

"When it's right I do."

"Well, thank you for a wonderful evening." I said, putting my hand on the door handle.

"Any chance I'll get another kiss out of you before you go?"

"I think that could be arranged."

As I leaned in and kissed him, the taste of his lips and the way he moved made me want to melt. I got so caught up in him that I almost missed the knocking on the window of the car. Since it was tinted we couldn't see who it was clearly.

Until Sean rolled down the window.

I wish I hadn't seen at all from the surprised and then angry look on his face.

It was Bosco.


	11. Should Have Been Me

**Should Have Been Me**

I look back now and see that all I really wanted was to talk my night over with Faith. To have her listen to me spill my guts about seein Nicole again; about how awful she was to little Lilly and how I was gonna deal with it. Since I was the Officer on the scene, it was now my case and since Nicole and I had dated a decade ago there was no need to assign anyone else. I wanted to get the bastard who hurt her so bad I could taste it. If it was the last thing I ever did I would make sure that Lilly Nicholson was safe.

The worst part was that even though Faith and I had fought constantly lately I knew that I could come to her and she'd listen. It was part of bein partners and best friends. Even if she was supremely pissed at me I knew that she'd still have my back. And that night I just wanted to forget everythin else and just tell her what was goin on. That's what I had in mind as I started my car and headed over toward her place. Even though I knew it was late, I also knew that she'd be awake and as soon as I rang the buzzer and she let me in, she'd put on a pot of coffee and tell me to spill.

I found my way to her street and found parking no problem. It was twelve thirty at night and most people were inside their homes while I was crusin the streets still wound up from my night with Nicole; her daughter's helpless face flashing before my eyes every few seconds, silently pleading for me to help her. I jumped out and slammed the door hard. I had so much restless energy that I had to either do some running before I attempted to go to bed or drink about ten beers. As I walked toward the building I saw a familiar car parked, but idling. There was no mistaking Sean's sleek black Porsche and I vaguely wondered if he was lookin for me. I continued on, each step I took making my stomach turn and my breathing become irregular. I knew even before I got there. I knew.

In a moment your whole world can change; What you thought you knew, the people you trusted, the very thing that made you close ta that person—it can all end with a bang. Nothin is ever the same again or at least that's how ya feel at the time.

That's how I felt when I saw Faith kissin my best friend. When I looked into the car I could tell that Sean was kissin someone and it should have occurred to me immediately that it was Faith. After all they were parked in front of her buildin. Sean's car windows were tinted but not so much so that you couldn't tell what was goin on inside and when he rolled that window down and I saw her face I felt my heart crack and split in two. Sounds like some stupid love movie or somethin but I felt something that I'd never felt for my partner before. Heart break at seein the woman you love kiss another guy.

I didn't know what was worse; him betrayin me or her. It was a toss-up and either way I looked at it I was pissed. Not only had my best friend gone behind my back after I had already told him that Faith wasn't available, but he'd gone and kissed her when it should have been me.

And her. Don't even get me started on how I felt about her. I could fill a book...but since I"m here anyways I might as well empty my guts. The way that I operate is very simple; I don't lie, I don't beat around the bush and I never, ever, go after a friends girl. It's like guy code or somethin. Ya don't go there. Ever. But she went there an I honestly felt so angry at that moment that I could have reached out an slapped her beautiful face.

And that's an entirely different matter, one that scares me ta death. My ole man hit my ma and my brother and I for as long as I can remember. Even when I got older I always swore that I'd never lay a hand on a woman, but that night all I could think about was the fact that I wanted to hit Faith. I wanted to make her hurt the way that she hurt me and it made me sick. Was I destined to go through life the same way my father did? It actually hurt my head to think about it.

So, what did I do? I turned around and jammed my hands in my pockets and started walkin away as fast as I could. I couldn't look at her ; not even for a second for fear that I would say somethin that I'd regret; for fear that she'd see the tears that had come to my eyes, stinging me and makin me feel worse than any other woman ever had before. I knew she'd follow me even before I heard the sound of the door slam.

And then I heard it; the unmistakable sound of her voice; high pitched and irregular, as if she felt guilty about bein caught like that. How could they not have told me? My thoughts went back to the night when she was in the locker room talkin on her cell phone. It was him she was talkin to. It made me so jealous that I wanted to scream.

"Bosco, wait!" She called, again, this time louder. Her high heels clicked on the pavement as she ran.

"Go to hell!" I yelled over my shoulder as I walked toward my car. I was actually shaking with rage and hurt at that point and knew that I had to beat it before she caught up with me.

"Bos, please stop and talk to me!" She cried. "I meant to tell you—I just didn't know how." She continued lamely.

I laughed sarcastically wondering how in the hell she actually thought that I'd buy that line. Hell, I'd invented that sorry-ass line myself and had used it about a thousand times. I stopped and stood still a moment, contemplating what I could say that would really really hurt her. I blinked back the stinging tears in my eyes and then tipped my head back and shook my head as I clenched my fists together.

"We didn't mean to."

There was no end to what this woman could do to me with her words, with her very bein'. Didn't mean to? What was that? The consolation prize for coming in second? The thing that people say when they have nothin else? When they have no more excuses and will say just about anythin? I don't think so.

"Bosco—"

"Don't!" I yelled at her, still not turning around. "Don't talk to me. Leave me the hell alone!"

She walked up behind me and softly put her hand on my shoulder. I yanked away as if her touch burned me. "Bosco, please turn around and talk to me."

"Just go 'way. Didn't ya hear me?"

She sighed. "Listen, we were going to tell you. Sean said at dinner tonight that he didn't want to keep secrets from you and neither do I. I know that you didn't want me going out with him but I like him, Bos, I really do and you should be happy for me." She said softly.

"Happy for you? Cause you lied to me? That's rich Faith, even for you."

"Yes, _happy_! I finally found someone that treats me good and we had a great time tonight. I don't know why you don't want me to go out with him."

"He's my best friend and you're my partner. It doesn't work." I spat between clenched teeth. "Believe me." I added, thinking that if I had to hear about some kind of sex that was going to happen between them, I'd shoot myself.

"You don't know that."

"You aren't his type." I said, biting down on my lip. "Trust me on that one." Even though my back was turned I could tell how much I had hurt her, but I didn't stop there.

"I certainly seemed like his type tonight. He kissed me. He wants to go out with me again—" She tried to reason with me.

"He'd of kissed anyone, Faith. You're not the first and you won't be the last." I said meanly.

"You have no right to be this angry, Bosco." She accused me, her tone hurting and insulted, and then angry as well. "If you want the truth, it isn't any of your business anyway. You did this to yourself."

This time I turned to face her, not expecting to see how absolutely breath-takin she was. My jaw dropped and I had trouble thinking about what it was that I wanted to say as I scanned her from head to toe. My eyes hungrily darted from her long silky hair to her made up face, down her tight red dress that clung to her breasts and then down to her legs and back up again. My lips parted as I stared at her.

"Bosco?"

"What?" I said, trying to regain the moment while trying to not be totally aroused by the way she looked.

"I said you did this to yourself. You lied to Sean and you lied to me." She threw in my face, her own blue eyes starting to water because she was so mad. "You didn't have any right to do what you did and you don't have any right to be mad now. Just because you think that I'm not good enough for your friend doesn't mean that he thinks that too." She yelled at me, a tear running down her cheek. She pointed at me as I stood there stupidly. "I may not be the most sophisticated woman in the world and I may not be refined and I don't work for Donald Trump, but Sean _likes_ me. _He _doesn't care. But do you know what hurts me the most?"

I looked away and took a deep breath.

"Do you?" She asked again, smoothing down her flyaway hair and carefully wiping the black mascara smudge from her below her eye.

I shook my head and jammed my hands in my pockets again, waiting for her verbal assault.

"What hurts me the most is that we've been partners for almost thirteen years and you don't think I'm good enough to go out with your friend."

I let out the breath I'd been holding in, frustrated and ran my hands through my hair. "That's not what I said!" I yelled, feeling so much like cryin I could hardly breathe.

"Yes you did!"

"No—I didn't!"

"You didn't want me to go out with him—why did you lie to me?" She raged.

"I didn't lie to you, Faith." I said between clenched teeth again. " I just didn't tell you the whole truth."

She folded her arms across her chest and stood there, the gentle breeze blowing through her hair; her mascara clumpin to her eyelashes; her lips all pouty and those blue eyes welled up with a thousand tears and all I could feel was my own eyes moistenin. Hastily, I turned from her a moment and quickly swiped at my eyes before turning back to her.

"I didn't lie." I said again, kicking the dirt beneath my feet with the toe of my boot. "You heard what you wanted to hear. That's all."

"And what is _that _supposed to mean?"

I looked her in the eye and swallowed the lump that had come into my throat. "It means that maybe I didn't want you to go out with him because—because I couldn't—".

A sharp horn blast interrupted me. We both turned and saw Sean rolling his window down again. "Faith, I've got to get going soon. You almost done?"

She turned back to me, a quizzical look on her face as if she knew I was about to say somethin that would rock her world.

"Because you—" She prompted, tilting her head to me, giving me the courage to go on. "Bosco?" She asked when I didn't say any more.

"Uh—Go back to your date, Faith. I'll see you in the morning." I said and turned and walked away as fast as I could.

This time she didn't follow.


	12. Firsts

When I got back to the car Sean was sitting with his hands folded neatly in his lap, a look of worry on his handsome face. I got in and closed the door softly. He took one look at me and knew that my talk with Bosco hadn't gone well.

"What did he say?"

I shook my head for a minute and looked out the window. I reached up with my right hand and wiped a tear that had started to zigzag down my cheek. I was sure that Bosco had been about to tell me something that I'd only dreamt about all those years. I was totally convinced that he was going to tell me that he didn't want me to go out with Sean because he was jealous. He was certainly acting like a jealous jerk. But the question was why didn't he?

"_It means that maybe I didn't want you to go out with him because—because I couldn't—"._

"He's mad at both of us." I said, looking over at him. "Mostly me." I murmured, thinking about Bosco's mysterious words to me.

Sean sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "Faith he'll get over it. He gets like this sometimes. He's just irrational, that's all. He's just mad that we kept it a secret."

I shook my head. "I don't think so. He's hurt and angry and he told me that I'm not your type. Said that I'm not the first and I won't be the last." I confessed, looking down at my hands. "Is he right about that?"

"That asshole." He grumbled, releasing out another long sigh. "He's gone too far this time." He looked strait ahead and bit down on his lip. "Faith, you're the first woman I've dated since Sarah left. I've gone out with a few girls on set-ups but left before dinner was finished. I want you to believe me when I tell you that I really like you and I want to see where this is going." He swung his head around and gave me a sheepish grin. "What do you say? You can't hold my best friend and yours against me, can you? Especially since you kissed me more than once." He teased.

I rolled my eyes and gave him a small smile. He was right; I couldn't hold it against him. And I believed him when he told me that I was the first woman he'd dated since his relationship broke up. After all, Bosco had said those things out of spite and they probably weren't true. When my partner got mad or felt really miffed he always blew things out of proportion. If I decided to go out with Sean again I knew I had to clear things with Bosco first. I at least owed him that much and after thirteen years of partnership and friendship I hoped that he'd of done the same for me.

"I have to talk to him first and see what the real problem is." I said, hoping that he'd understand. "I like you too, but Bosco has been the most important person in my life for as long as I can remember and I need things to be cool with him before anything else happens. Can you wait to talk to him until I've had a chance? I'll probably get to do it tomorrow when we're at work."

He nodded in agreeance. "You're a good woman, Faith. I'm glad I met you." He said, reaching over to take my hand into his. "And I can wait." He leaned over and kissed me again, this time slow and gentle, making me melt all over.

"Okay. I'll call you soon." I said as I grabbed the door handle and swung it open. "Bye."

I walked up to my apartment and slid the key into the door. Everything was so sparse and empty looking inside. It was lonely coming home every day to this place that gave me nothing but bad memories of Fred and even though my kids had grown up here it still wasn't enough to keep me warm at night. I kicked off my heals and didn't even stop to put them away properly. Who cared anyway? I went directly to the bathroom and washed the makeup off of my face and put my hair in a ponytail.

As I walked down the hall to my bedroom, questions began to fill my altered mind; Where was the passion? Where was the love that I had dreamed about my whole life? There was no one waiting in the bedroom for me, no messages on the phone and nothing left but a middle aged woman who dreamed about being loved and needed. How pathetic I felt as I walked into my bedroom and slid off the most expensive dress I'd ever owned and let it fall into a heap on the floor.

I put on my black lacy nightie, deciding that at least if my apartment got broken into I'd look good, and walked out into the kitchen and opened a bottle of wine. I put on one of the only cd's I had left; Marvin Gaye and turned it to 'Sexual Healing', and turned up the stereo. I poured myself a generous glass in my purple goblet and downed it. At least if I was going to spend the night alone I could be outrageously drunk and all the wine I'd consumed at dinner had given me a wonderful start.

I flopped down on my sofa and put my feet up on the coffee table, all the while singing along to my favorite singer. I'd always loved Marvin; loved the way he sang, the way he looked, the way he made me feel like a sexual creature just waiting to be discovered. At so it began; my feelings of drunkenness lead to my feelings of wanting and being wanted. And who did I think of first? Not the date that I'd just ended; not even some stranger that I'd met on the street or in a bar. The only man who made me feel the need to be completely taken.

Bosco.

It always came back full circle to him. I guess it was about time that I admitted it to myself that I loved him. It was the only explanation that fit. I was in love with my partner and there was no denying it. Trouble was that I was pretty sure that even if he was jealous about my going out with Sean, there was no deep feelings behind it. How I wished there were. I couldn't stop thinking about what he was about to say to me. What if he loved me too? What if? _What if?_

"_It means that maybe I didn't want you to go out with him because—because I couldn't—"._

I turned the lights down low and moved my head back and forth to the music, while trying to get up the courage to go over to his apartment and see if we could work it out, but the very thought that he might slam the door in my face kept me wallowing in self pity. What was it about me that I couldn't even make sense of the relationship that had been in the works for years and years? Essentially, the relationship that I had cultivated with Bosco had been a delve of emotions, ranging from friendship to love, including all of the other sub-emotions such as anger, jealousy, rage, and the best of all; total lust. It seemed that there was no other man on the planet who could evoke the kind of feelings that he could.

Admitting that I loved him was like climbing the highest mountain; and when you reached the top where did you go from there? What else was there left to do but climb down and find the next wild thing to do? In loving him I'd set myself up for a new kind of fall; one that would most likely be rocky terrain and very, very long. Even if he did love me back, which I suspected would never truly be, where would we go? What would we do with it? And if we decided to give it a shot, would it work?

The next time I looked at the clock it was three-thirty in the morning. I groaned and thought about how I'd be spending my day washing the squad cars and probably fighting with Bosco. Again. I downed the last of my wine and took the empty bottle and glass into the kitchen. I stumbled as I made my way down the hall and realized that I was a little too drunk. If I got in a full four hours of sleep I seriously doubted that the effects or the smell would be gone by the time I got into work. Or maybe it would make the day go faster and be a total blur. I laughed out loud at the lunacy of my logic.

I had almost made it to my bedroom door when I heard my door bell ring. I stopped dead in my tracks, a little spooked. It wasn't often that I got a visitor at this time of night without a phone call first.

I hoped that it wasn't the police telling me that Fred had been in an accident with one of the kids. I always hated late-night calls just for that reason. I'd worked enough doubles to know that when someone comes knocking on your door in the middle of the night, the reasons were not good ones. Fortunately for me, Bosco and I didn't do many doubles.

I walked slowly toward the door and peeked through the hole. There was something covering it, a hand maybe.

"Hello?"

Nothing.

"Hello?" I called again, this time feeling almost sick to my stomach. " Is someone there?"

"It's me." Came a muffled voice. "Let me in."

"Who's me?"

"Faith!"

Relief flooded through me to realize that it was Bosco, and then nervousness. What the hell was he doing here? I unlatched the chain and opened the door and peered out.

"Bosco? What are you doing here?" I asked.

He stood in front of me wearing the same white t-shirt and blue jeans he'd had on when I'd seen him a few hours ago. He'd been drinking, possibly as much as I had consumed and he reeked of stale beer and cigarettes. His hair was on end and his eyes were all glassy. He raised his right arm and placed it above the door and leaned his weight on it. He looked me over much in the same way he had when he saw me with Sean, his eyes lingering on the tightness of the nightie I wore, especially on the top part.

"We need ta talk." He said, slurring his words a bit. "It can't wait."

Oh, he was drunk. It was the only reason he'd come to my home, especially since we'd fought horribly only a few hours past. He never could be totally honest unless he had his liquid courage.

"You stink. What did you get yourself into?" I said, not moving from my spot. "Can't we talk tomorrow? We're spending the whole day together anyway." I said, yawning and just not wanting to get into what I knew would be a big argument.

"Are ya gonna let me in or am I gonna hafta sleep in the hallway?" He asked sarcastically. "I don't wanna talk about—what happened earlier if that's what you're worried about."

I thought for a moment. Maybe he really did need to talk. Usually he wouldn't end up drunk at my house unless he was desperate to get something off of his chest.

"Okay, but just for a few minutes. We both need some sleep." I said, and moved aside so he could come in.

He went directly toward the livingroom and plopped down on the couch, crossing his right foot over his left leg. I followed him and sat down and rubbed my temples where my head was starting to ache. I was really in for a time of it tomorrow. I leaned back and waited for him to begin.

"So, Bosco what is it that can't wait?" I asked tiredly.

"I saw _her_." He said between clenched teeth, his nose scrunched up, disgusted.

"You saw who?"

"I saw _her_ at the hospital tonight. Her daughter was raped. She's only a kid and she looks so much like her, Faith." He gushed, waving his arms around, really disturbed. "And she was horrible, just horrible an I—"

I cut him off. "Who was horrible? Who are you talking about?"

"After ten years she still looked the same, dressed the same—like some damn classy call girl that you see in the movies and she was a real bitch too!"

He turned and looked at me for my thoughts. "Are you listenin to me, Faith? Didja hear what I said?" He practically yelled.

"Bosco—I don't know who the hell you're talking about—so who is it?" I demanded, impatient for him to tell me who it was.

He stood up and jammed his hands in the back pockets of his jeans and began to pace the room. I sat staring at him for a moment, too drunk to press him any further and too tired to beat it out of him. It must have been five minutes before he looked back at me again and this time I saw that he was not only angry but hurt. His eyes welled up with tears as he began to tell me the events of the rest of our shift.

"Nicole."

My eyes widened. He couldn't be talking about _that_ Nicole! I sat up, my mouth hung open. "Nicole? Wild Nicole?" I whispered. "How? She's got a kid?" I asked, still not believing that it was the same woman. "She's got a kid who was raped?"

"Ya. She came into the hospital after her step-father raped her this morning before he dropped her off at school." He said, in his hyper voice that he reserved for when he was super upset. "Her name is Lilly Nicholson and she's the cutest little thing ya ever saw."

That sounded funny coming from the guy who thought that most woman should have their tubes tied and that children and babies were an albatross around the neck of America.

"So what happened?" I pressed.

He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "She's tellin me about how her dad raped her an I'm tryin not to have a complete breakdown and go hunt down the bastard himself, when all of a sudden Davis sticks his head in the door and tells me that the mother's here and that I know her. I'm like wonderin who the hell it could be an the door swings open and there she is..." He said, his own eyes wild, like he still couldn't believe what he'd seen.

"And?"

"An she comes in an completely ignores the kid, who _wets the bed_, by the way, when she sees her."

"She didn't!"

He nodded his head vigorously. "Oh ya, she did an Nicole starts yellin that the kid's a liar and that it didn't happen and all that."

"Is she crazy or what?"

His eyes widened so much that I thought his eyebrows might snap off. "Oh she's crazy all right!"

"So, what are you gonna do? Is Lieu gonna let us have the case?"

"Why wouldn't he? I got the call."

"But you have history with Nicole. I'm just wondering if he might think that you're too—" I thought for a moment for the right word. "involved. Maybe someone else would be better for Lilly. You and Nicole practically hate each other, Bos. Do you think that you can handle it?" I asked, patting the seat beside me for him to come and sit down. He needed to relax.

"I havn't been with her in almost ten years, Faith. I hardly think that I'm too involved to work the case. That bastard Tony Nicholson is goin to jail forever an a day if we can find 'em and get the kid to testify." He said, walking over beside me and sinking down. He put his arm over his head, shading his eyes. "I gotta do it for her. For Lilly. She needs me."

"Yah." I said, not sure what else there was I _could_ say that would make him feel any better. My partner always took child abuse cases to heart; a vigilante for the abused who had no voice, was he; Hunting down the gut-rot of society and putting them behind bars, usually after he gave them a real good beating.

Poor Bosco had such a miserable childhood, it was a wonder that he could even function half normally. His father had used him and his brother and his mother too, all as punching bags; tools of his aggression. As a result my partner had made it is silent mission to rid our city of the scum-bags, the jag-offs, the child abusers and the men who thought that woman were property of some kind. I looked at him then, with new eyes; eyes that saw the pain he was in and could understand why he was the way he was; It was the only way he could wake up in the morning and go on with a new day. He needed to be doing something to stop the memories. Memories were his redemption.

"We'll get him, Bos." I said softly, reaching out to rub his shoulder reassuringly. "You'll do it."

"Only if you're with me." He brought his arm down from his face and looked at me with glassy eyes; eyes that now burned with drunken lust. Our eyes locked and held and for a moment I found it hard to breathe. "There's nothin I can't do when you're by my side."

I sucked in my breath, shocked by his honestly, by his revelations. I didn't know what to say to him.

My heart pounded in my chest, knowing that he was horny because he was drinking and because my desire for him was becoming so strong. It was a complete turn from a few hours before and I had to keep reminding myself that he was only looking at me like that because he was completely obliterated and would say just about anything to get laid.

Just keep telling yourself that, Faith, I thought to myself. Knowing full well that he meant what he'd said; that he'd only ever say it when he could hide behind a bottle of Jack Daniels; when he wouldn't have to answer for it the next day.

"Bos—" I started to say, but he turned more toward me and put his finger tip against my lips.

"Don't." He whispered. "Just listen ta me."

I started to open my mouth again, but he shook his head at me. For some reason I knew that whatever came out of his mouth right then would bind us together forever. There would be no going back and I felt scared and nervous, but most of all, my lonely heart cried out for him to say the things I knew he'd regret the next day. I was a kaleidoscope of wants and needs and I couldn't make up my mind about any of it.

"Ya can't go out with Sean. He's not right for ya, Faith. I'm tellin ya the truth." He said, piercing his gaze at me. "I can't watch it and I can't know about it either, so please, for me, don't go out with him again."

"But—"

"Faith, don't make me say it."

"I—"

He leaned in and closed the gap between us, taking his hand and rubbing slow circles on my face with his thumb.

"There's no one who will ever know you the way that I do. No one."

"Bos, you're drunk." I protested, but quite liking the closeness of him.

"So're you."

"This is gonna change everything."

"I hope so."

And then our lips met.

And I didn't look back.


	13. Opening Up

_He leaned in and closed the gap between us, taking his hand and rubbing slow circles on my face with his thumb._

"_There's no one who will ever know you the way that I do. No one."_

"_Bos, you're drunk." I protested, but quite liking the closeness of him._

"_So're you."_

"_This is gonna change everything."_

"_I hope so."_

_And then our lips met._

_And I didn't look back._

**Chapter Thirteen**

If bein in heaven was anythin like having someone you love wrap their arms around your neck and whisper words that made your heart beat faster, than I'd gladly turn in my gun 'an badge and let the first truck I saw run me over. It was that amazin.

I couldn't ever explain how good she felt in my arms; like she was born just to fit perfectly with me. Her hands running along the back of my neck and shoulders, giving me the chills; her lips brushing lightly against mine and then harder as we climbed together. For the life of me I couldn't believe that it had taken so long just to get to this point—whatever it was.

She leaned back and pulled me down on top of her and tangled her fingers in my hair. She looked deep into my eyes and that connection that we'd always had became stronger; her blue eyes blazed into mine as we kissed, each takin from the other, both needin and wantin.

"Oh Bosco, you drive me nuts." She murmured. "I never knew that you'd be like this."

I laughed. "Be like this? Baby, you havn't seen nothin yet. I'll make ya happy, Faith, I swear it." I said between kisses.

She drew her leg out from under me and wrapped it around my waist tightly, making me closer and closer to the final destination. She gazed into my eyes and threw her head back and bit down on her lip. "Is that a promise?"

"You bet."

I knew that this time I'd done it right; that I was0with the one woman that I'd been searchin my whole life for. I wasn't usually a cheezy guy but layin0on that couch with her, my hands explorin, my senses heightened until I felt like I was flyin. An the best part about it was that she was kissin me back—and then she suddenly stopped.

"Bos?"

I didn't reply, just lowered my head and started kissin that spot on her neck that I knew instinctively would drive her wild.

"Bosco?" Her voice came a little stronger an I pulled back to look at her.

"Ya?"

She shifted around a bit and ran her hand over her ponytail. "What are we doing?"

I grinned. "Doing? Do you want me to explain it to you?" I asked playfully. "Or would you like me to give you a recap?" I leaned in again but she lightly pushed my chest back. She wanted to talk.

"I need to know what_ this_ is." She said, waving her hand between the small space that separated us, her face slightly downcast. She sat up, makin me sit back a bit, and faced me.

"Whadaya mean?"

"Are we doing something that we're gonna regret in the morning?" She asked, almost worried sounding. "Something that will ruin our partnership?" Her blue eyes clung to mine, searching.

I felt my bubble of happiness burst, making that stinging feeling in my stomach start; the thing that happens when you don't want to hear something and no matter what ya do or _try_ to do to stop it, the words are inevitable.

I sat back and sighed. "Do you think this is gonna ruin anything?" I asked softly. "This feels right." I added and ran my fingertips over her arm. "I want you, Faith."

Relief passed through her eyes, which brightened. "You do?" She asked, her lips twitching a bit.

I nodded. "Faith, I've wanted this for a long time an' I know that I'm only tellin ya now cause I'm drunk as hell..." I said. "but it's true. I can't help the way I feel about ya and it killed me to see you kissin Sean tonight."

Her eyes widened. "Really? I mean this just isn't some one night stand for you?"

I let out the breath I'd been holdin. "No! No way!" I said passionately. I took her hand into mine and tried to make her understand how much things had changed in my mind in the last few months, how much I'd grown to care for her, by just the look in my eyes. "Faith, I can't stop thinkin about'cha. I can't stand the thought of you bein with someone else. You gotta believe me."

"Why didn't you tell me before?" She questioned.

"I dunno." I said, looking down at the floor for a minute. "Scared I guess." I looked up at her, wanting her to know how serious I was. "I wanted ta ask ya out for a long time but I was too scared ta do it."

"Maurice Boscorelli, are you asking me out on an official date?" She asked me, giggling.

"Would you want to officially date me, Faith?"

She put her finger against her lips and squeezed her eyes shut, pretendin to be in deep thought. "Well...I don't know..." She muttered playfully. "Alright, I think I could give it a shot."

"Good. I'll take you out tomorrow after our play date at work." I said, happy that she was willin to give me a shot. Actually, I was so happy that I could have cried from the relief of knowin that she felt the same, or at least I thought she did. She didn't come out and say it the same way I did, but I got the feelin that she and I were on the same page.

"You're not gonna change your mind tomorrow?" She asked pointedly. I deserved it. She knew about my past history. "And you don't expect to sleep with me right off the bat do you?"

As if I would.

"Never." I said, wishin that she knew exactly how much I had loved her all those years. But not yet. I couldn't risk it yet. "Faith, we don't have to do anything tonight or even tomorrow night. I'll wait as long as it takes. I don't want to put any pressure on you..." I said, squeezing her hand. "...I want you but I don't want to mess this up either." I brought her hand to my lips and kissed her palm. "Whenever."

She considered what I'd said. She closed her eyes for a second and leaned back against the pillow again, gettin comfortable, then a slow grin spread across her beautiful face.

"I was just kidding..." She opened her eyes and reached up and pulled me down on top of her. "I want you too. I've always wanted you."

I parted my lips to say something but she silenced me with her kiss. Over and over again until I picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. When it was over we lay together, all sweaty and exhausted, her long blond hair tickling my chest, her head on my shoulder, and I knew that in all my life I'd never felt as good as I did at that moment.

"Bos?" She said sleepily, raisin her head to look at me.

"Ya?"

"That was...well...that was amazing." She said, her blue eyes lusty and appreciative of what I'd made her feel.

"I know. I've never been that—close to someone before." I admitted, rubbing her bare shoulder lightly.

She sat up and rested her head in her hand so she could look at me. This was the part where most women wanted to talk and I just wanted to get the hell out of there, but this was different. There was no where else in the world that I would have wanted to be than with her.

"What do you mean—close?"

I sighed. "This isn't somethin that I usually talk about, ya know." I said, feelin a little bit stupid for lettin my mouth get ahead of my common sense. "I've been with a lot of women—" I began.

"I know. Let's not talk about it." She said, fake rolling her eyes at me.

"and..." I continued, pointedly. "I never felt with any of them the way I felt with you tonight."

Her eyes misted over and she pouted her bottom lip at me. I could tell that she was more than moved by my honesty. "Bosco, that was the sweetest thing you've _ever _said to me." She gushed and leaned over to kiss me.

"You're gonna get so lucky again." She said, sexily as she leaned in and started to kiss my neck.

"Yep." I said, grinning.

"Yep, what?"

I stretched my arms over my head and gave her a big growl.

"I've still got it!"


	14. Fabulous Morning After

**The Fabulous Morning After**

The next morning was, at the very least, a little _different _from the way I usually got up and began my day; For one, Bosco was sleeping very contentedly beside me, his eyes sewn shut tight, his hair rumpled and boyishly rugged looking and he was naked as the day he was born, as was I.; It was not the way I had envisioned my morning after my date with Sean Kelly.

Which was a whole other story; one that I'd have to unravel as soon as I could talk to him and try to explain that I couldn't see him because I was in love with the one man that I thought I could never have. How was that going to work?

I knew that it was uncouth and very unladylike to have gone on a date with one man and ended up in bed with another; the very thought that I was capable of not only acting like a man, but pulling it off with such an explosion of emotion and passion, made me feel sexy. I relished the fact that I had Bosco going crazy by what I was doing to him; he called out my name, he looked at me with such emotion; raw and uninhibited, that I knew he loved me too.

Even though he hadn't said it I knew that it was true. It hadn't been a mistake to go out with his best friend; In truth, it had brought us together. It had made Bosco decide to be truthful with his emotions and for that I knew that I would always be indebted to Sean Kelly. And even though the road had been rocky and the detour's hard to choose, the destination had been the same from the very beginning. The only hard part would be the explanation.

I rolled over and snuggled closer to him and shut my eyes again, just for a second. It was seven o'clock and the last time I had checked the clock it is five fifteen. I felt like I had been run over by a Mack truck; and then backed up and run over _again_, just for good measure.

I couldn't believe that I had actually slept with my partner of almost thirteen years. There had been so many nights I"d envisioned what could have transpired between us; so many times I'd wondered what it would be like to make love to him; and now, it was a reality. We had done what I swore we would never do; We'd made love.

It made me realize that in all of my years being married to Fred, I'd never once made love. I'd never experienced the kind of emotion that swept you away and made you sweat bullets; the raw desire of having that person devour you and make you theirs, to not ever be close enough and to wish that it would never end, was what I had been missing all along. To have a man inside of me who belonged there was utterly amazing.

By seven twenty three, my snooze button was again blaring, jarring me awake from a much needed sleep. I groaned and rolled out of my partner's tight embrace and jabbed the damn button, hoping that I'd inflicted some pain on it and then turned over and traced my fingertip along his stubble.

"Hey there, sleeping beauty." I said in my sexiest voice, which turned out to be quite croaky and almost phlegmy sounding. I really had drunk too much the night before. I cleared my throat and tried again. "Bos, it's time to get up."

"One more minute." He mumbled, throwing his arm around my waist and snuggling his head into my bosom. "We just laid down a second ago."

I caressed his head with my free hand. "You poor thing. Would it make it better for you if I put on some coffee?"

"Uh, uh." He said, snuggling closer. "It would make it better if you stayed in bed and _showed_ me how much you appreciate me."

I laughed, for I certainly felt like showing him_ anything_ he wanted, but now was not the time. "I'd love to, believe me, but will you still be this happy when we're both unemployed?"

No response.

"Would it make you happy if I told you that you'll be greatly rewarded later on_ tonight_, for your outstanding efforts today?" I asked, leaning down and giving him a kiss on one rough cheek. "Maybe with some chocolate and whip cream?"

That worked.

He grumbled and groaned as I peeled myself away and got up to get dressed. I pulled a tiny pair of blue bikini panties over my hips and received a whistle.

"Don't know how we lasted years without doin this." He said, gravel voiced, rolling over and resting his head on his elbow. "You're amazin, Faith."

I grinned, for I knew it was true (the part about us lasting so long). "Well, if it had of happened earlier we woulda been having an affair."

He sighed and shook his head at me, grinning. "Sure woulda been worth it."

"Get up and get dressed. Christopher is doing the first shift and I'm sure he'd love to tell Lieu if we were late."

He made a sour face. Classic Bosco. "So, I'd love to tell him exactly _why_ we were late this morning." He said, chuckling nastily. "It'd wipe the smirk right off of his jag-off face. Seein as he never gets any."

I laughed. "Get dressed, Bos. We have to be there in like fifteen minutes."

"Only if you promise to get undressed as soon as we're done." He called after me as I walked out into the kitchen to put two cups of water into the microwave to boil quickly. Upon noting the time, I decided to leave the coffee and finish getting dressed. He was in the bathroom when I got back to my bedroom and pulled on a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt.

I looked around the scene of our love making with a sense of longing in my heart; the bed sheets were wrapped in a tight ball, the lamp beside the bed was knocked over; the pillows all over the place. I closed my eyes and remembered him beside me, on top of me, inside me, making me want and need in all the right places; educating me in the pleasures that could be had between two people who seemed like they were the only humans left alive on planet earth; We had been wild in our need to have each other. No matter what happened from here on out, I knew that I would look back on that night with a burning in my heart; I had tasted the wildness and the passion that burned deeply between a man and a woman and I would never return to the mundaneness of anything else. My partner had taught me well.

I sat down on the bed and put on a pair of blue socks. I wondered exactly what would happen now. I mean, I knew that we were immensely attracted to one another; almost like two animals. We were primal and lust filled when it came to each other the night before, but did it mean that we were going to continue on this path? Would he still date other women? Would I still date other men?

There were so many questions running through my mind, each of them important in their own right, but I decided to let him bring up the subject. There was no way that I was going to start asking questions the day after.

Bosco met me in the kitchen, already dressed and ready to go. He wrapped his arms around me from behind and hugged me tightly. I loved the way I felt in his arms; so safe and secure, like nothing could touch me, nothing could hurt me when he was by my side. I leaned my head back against his strong chest and closed my eyes.

"Whatcha thinkin about?" He asked, in a low husky voice. "Last night?"

"Ummmm...last night was amazing, Bos." I said, turning into his embrace and looking him strait in the eye. "I never thought that it could be so good."

"Sex?"

"Ya."

He reached out and tucked a stray bit of hair behind my ear. "That's because it wasn't sex, Faith. It was making love." He said sweetly. "You're the first woman I've ever made love to and now I know why everyone says it's better that way."

He touched my heart, my soul, as we stood there together, not breaking eye contact, just staring into each other's eyes. We broke apart only when we realized that we were most definitely late for work. We'd be at least twenty minutes late and Christopher would have our asses. Although, that morning it was almost the last thing on my mind. I was too happy to get worked up over it.

"One thing, though." He said, as we put on our shoes. "One thing that you gotta promise me."

"What's that?" I asked, as I pulled on my jean jacket and pulled my hair out from underneath so it could hang down my back.

"You have to promise me that you aren't gonna see Sean again." He said, as he put his leather jacket on. "At least not for a date."

I stopped what I was doing and stared at him. " Did you really think I was just gonna call him up and continue on from there?"

He grinned at me again and narrowed his eyes. "Not likely, but I thought that I'd say it anyway."

I nodded my head. "Oh, just to get it out there, right?" I asked, as we exited the apartment and slammed the door. "And does this apply to you, Mr. Boscorelli?"

"Of course it does." He said, grabbing for my hand and squeezing it tightly. "Who else could ever compare to you?" He said sweetly.

I laughed. "Good line, Bos."

"It wasn't a line." He said indignantly as he unlocked the door to the Mustang. "I meant every word I said. There's no one else I'd want to date." He said, pretending to be hurt. "Now that I have you." He added.

I got inside the car and reached over and unlocked his door. He slid in and turned the key and put it in reverse.

"How did you know that I'd not date anyone else?" I asked, looking over at him to watch his expression.

"Why would you?"

"Date anyone else, you mean?"

He nodded. "Ya. You had me and you loved it. There's no need for you to elsewhere when you have all of _this_." He said arrogantly, pointing at himself. My mouth dropped open at his ego trip and he winked at me.

"_Oh_ you are _too_ much." I said, rolling my eyes, but there was no denying the truth. I'd never want anyone else to touch me after last night.

"Sides, I bet no other guy ever made you moan_ that _loud before." He said mockingly, making a silly face at me.

My face flushed red and I reached over and cuffed him behind the ear. "Shut up."

"You know you wanted it. Once you've had _the_ Boscorelli, you never go back to second best." He bragged, licking his lips suggestively at me.

My Bosco. He never changed.

And I wouldn't want him any other way.


	15. Pledge

**Chapter Fifteen**

I stood back and looked at the fourth car that we'd washed in the last two hours; Jeez Louise, cops sure liked to have their cars spotless, and I do mean spotless. Not a smudge, not a smear, not one area left untouched would be tolerated. It was totally humiliating to be out there washing cars like some homeless guy on my Saturday afternoon, when Faith and I could have been doin somethin more productive.

Oh man, the way that I felt was somethin out of this world. I had slept with Faith, made love to her, which was somethin that I'd done about a million times, by _myself _of course, but actually doin the real thing was so much more amazin. I'd laid there awake from about five-thirty until at least six and jus laid there watchin her sleep. She was so content and peaceful lookin, her long blond hair spread out on the pillow. She made me feel things that no other woman ever had;

I seriously wondered how I had lasted almost thirteen years without hittin on her; she was so beautiful and classy, so absolutely pure woman, that I couldn't believe that she had done it with me. Not that I was complainin though. She was always too good for me and I wondered if this was somethin that was goin to Last.

Intense feelins of jealousy spread through my body at the thought of her goin out with my best friend; My best friend kissin her and her kissin him back. I had never even seen Faith kiss anyone before, especially Fred, when she was married to him, but the way her sensual lips had set mine on fire, I knew I'd never kiss another woman again. She had me. I jus hoped that she would tell Sean, like _today,_ so that I wouldn't have to worry about it for any longer than necessary. I knew that our friendship would be strained for quite a while, but she was worth it. I didn't care if he understood the reasons behind it and I didn't care if he thought I was trying to take her out from underneath him. It's just the way it was and he could accept it or not. The truth was that I'd of given up just about damn near everythin for her. It didn't matter what else happened in my life as long as Faith was by my side, the same way she'd been for thirteen years.

By lunch time it was so hot out that I seriously regretted not puttin on any sun-screen. The back of my neck was sore as hell and my cheeks felt like they were on fire.

"Over there. You missed a spot."

"Huh?" I said, not really payin too much attention. "Over where?"

"Right _there_." Faith said staunchly, wiping sweat from her brow, fakin like she was mad at me for missin a spot on Davis and Sully's RMP. "You must be dreaming or something today. Your head is all messed up."

I turned and looked her in the eye ,a smirk making its way to the surface. "My head? Welllll.." I drawled, as I poured more soap on my sponge. "My _head _was pretty busy last night an' I'm still tryin to get over the excitement."

That earned me a serious eye roll. "Bosco, is there ever a time when you aren't immature?"

I grinned supernormally. "Are you complainin, _Ms. Yokas_, about last night?" I asked. "Cause from what I remember you were moan—" I said, making a gesture with my pelvic area.

She held up her hand. "Okay, _okay_. We all know how loud I moaned last night." She yelled at me, wanting me to stop makin remarks to her about our bedroom escapades. "And if I recall, you moaned pretty loud yourself so why don't you—"

"Spare me the gory details–" Came a sarcastic voice behind me. "I just had lunch and I don't want to throw it up. There's nothing I'd like to think about less than the two of you humping like a pair of love sick rabbits."

I whirled around to find Christopher standing there, an disgusted look on his snotty face. I looked back at Faith, who by this point was as red as a beet and just stood there looking like she'd like to crawl underneath the RMP and die.

"Which is against department policy." He added snidely as he crossed over to us, his hands crossed over his chest. "Which I'm sure you already know. The Fifty-Fifth Precinct does not tolerate its Officers philandering with one another."

"Philandering? That's an awfully big word." I said sarcastically. "We don't _philander_. We were eating bad food together–" I turned back to Faith and gestured toward her. "and the last time I checked it was perfectly fine to eat with your partner."

Faith pleaded mutely with her eyes for me to not make a scene but I couldn't let it go. I dropped my sponge in the bucket and glared at him. "You thought we were talking about sex?" I asked. "Faith had some bad tacos from that place on fifty-third and Broadway and she sure got sick, didn'tcha Faith?"

She licked her lips and gave Christopher a pathetic glance. "Ya. Real bad food boss—don't ever go there."

He shot me a scathing glance. "Boscorelli—do you think I'm stupid?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?"

His mouth fell open, shocked that I, his subordinate, would be so bold as to talk back. Hell, I'd never learned my lesson to keep my big mouth shut and I was thirty years old and from the look that Faith threw me, I knew I'd definitely stepped over the line—again.

"It depends on how much you value your job."

"You asked the question, boss."

He raised his arm and pointed at me. "Bosc—" He yelled.

"He's not saying anything else—are you Bosco?" Faith interrupted, walking over and smacking me across the stomach. She turned to Christopher and gazed at him lamely. "He didn't mean anything by it, Boss. Don't worry about us. We're professionals. We know the rules of this job and what it entails."

He didn't look convinced. "Ya, well, I'm keeping an eye on the two of you anyway."

I started to open my mouth an' she grabbed my arm and pinched me roughly. "Is that all, Boss?"

His lips turned up into a sneer as he looked at us. "No." He stated flatly. "You two are done here. There's more pressing things to attend to."

"Why?" I asked. "Do you need your office cleaned too?"

"I'm going to ignore that last remark Boscorelli, but from now on you had better keep your big mouth shut unless you want to be riding a desk for the rest of your pathetic career." He looked at Faith. "You might want to think about keeping your partner on a leash."

"Yes Sir."

"Anyway, " He continued. "I wanted to give you a heads up on the Nicholson case. I need you two to go back to the hospital and take the kids statement again. They kept her overnight but until we can get the statement finished up and get child protection to keep her away from the parents, it's going to be hard on her."

Just hearin the name gave me a fresh new surge of anger. In my night of passion with Faith I'd totally forgotten about Lily and Nicole.

"But I took that statement last night. Why do I have to get it again?"

He looked at me like I was stupid. "Because, Boscorelli–" He said impatiently. "She added more to the story, and since the accused is one of our own we have to make sure that this is handled properly. We have to make sure that she's telling the truth."

"Is one of our own? Who the hell is her father anyway?" Faith asked.

"He's a cop from the Forty-Ninth. His name is Tony Nicholson and he's pretty decorated." Christopher answered.

"She's tellin the truth, Boss! You shoulda seen the kid—she was terrified of her mother! And Proctor said that they have plenty of physical evidence–so there's no way that he can deny it."

"There's no dna. He must have used a condom." He replied. "This has to be handled with the utmost care you two. If he did it, and I mean_ if_, he'll be prosecuted. But if not, his reputation will be ruined. I don't want any screwups on this." He looked pointedly at me. "Do you hear me Boscorelli?"

I glanced over at Faith, who had a sick expression on her face. "He did it." I said, crossing my arms over my chest. I wasn't backing down and even letting the possibility of his innocence cross my mind. He was guilty. He knew it. And I knew it.

And if it took everything I had I was going to make sure that Tony Nicholson spent the rest of his life paying for what he did.

And that's exactly what I had on my mind as Faith and I went into the locker room and changed, preparin ourselves for a conversation that that every adult dreads, especially when it came to children bein hurt. Somewhere deep inside I knew that everything wasn't going to be fine when it came to Lily and even if we did charge Tony with her rape how was the rest of her life gonna turn out?

Thank the one above for Faith bein by my side. As always, she gave me the strength to carry on.

And that was good, cause at least one of us could have a strait head. I sure as hell didn't.


	16. Chapter 16

AN: I know it's short. Just wanted to get something up for ya'll again. Please tell me if you're still interested in hearing about this story.

Chapter 16- Whoa!

I watched in amazement as Bosco went through the locker-room as fast as a tornado, practically ripping the hinges off the locker door in his attempt to get dressed in record time.  
He was no longer my lover at that moment, he was a cop, a man with a mission. His whole personality had changed as soon as the Nicholson case was mentioned. It had only been ten minues ago that he was laughing and teasing me that light side of him was never more prevalent than it had been this morning. But now was not the time to dwell on it. I knew that abuse cases were especially hard on him, and I had to admit that they were hard on me as well. The fact that Lily was Nicole's daughter just topped off the cake. 

He stood before me, his eyes wide and his jaw clenched, wating expectantly.

" Well, are ya comin or not?" He asked, again. He slapped his thighs over and over while he waited.

" Ya, I'm coming. Give me a sec." 

" You look fine, Faith. Let's go."

I stood in front of him clad in my uniform pants and my bra. 

" Do you think I could maybe put my shirt on first?" I barked, getting annoyed with him.

" Oh, just hurry up. I want to get to Lily now. Not a hundred years from now." 

" Yes, can you give me enough time to zipper up my pants?" 

He barely nodded before he stalked out of the room and called over his shoulder to me to get my ass out to the car in two shakes or he was leaving without me.

Long live the romantic side of him.

When we got to the hospital he practically ran toward the front door. I had to almost double my strides just to catch up to him.  
Bosco went to the front desk to speak to Mary Proctor and see if anything had changed in the last hour or so. It turned out that they had a uniform from another precinct sit outside of Lily's room all night in case her step-father tried to come and see her. I went to the machine to get a cup of coffee and one for Bosco. I was so tired that I thought I just might pass out before the night was through. We weren't even supposed to be on duty and I seriously wondered if I could stay awake for the rest of the day.

Finally, I got back to the desk and handed Bosco his coffee. He was still talking to Mary about Liky's case.

" Hi Faith." 

" Hi Mary, how's it goin?" 

The elder woman smiled at me warmly. " Not so bad. Must be a full moon comin tonite tho'. All the weird ones come out the day of a full moon."

" We gotta go check on Lily now." Bosco said, grabbing me by the arm and guiding me down the hall.

We got to the uniform officer and Bosco told him to come back in a half hour or so, so that we could have a chance to talk to Lily privately. I think the real reason was that Bosco didn't trust anyone from any other precinct to watch the door. I knew that he had no idea what this Tony Nicholson guy looked like, and didn't know who his friends were. I was sure that he was afraid that somehow, someway, the man who was responsible for terrorizing poor Lily would find a way to hurt her again.

He turned to me, as serious as I'd ever seen him. " Faith, let me talk ta her. She trusts me 'an I know she's scared ta death here, so just sit back, okay?"

It wasn't like I didn't know my place or how to do my job and it certainly wasn't the first time that Bosco had told me what to do and I knew that it wouldn't be the last---but for whatever reason, even though I was a little put off, I nodded my head and followed my gut.

He knocked softly and opened the door a crack. " Lily, honey? It's Officer Boscorelli. I'm here to talk to you again. Can I come in?" 

I stood close behind him but I couldn't hear her speak. He stuck his head in the room and tried again.

" Lily, I'm here to talk to you and I brought my partner with me. Her name is Officer Yokas. She's really nice and she wants to help you too. Can we come in?" 

"Ok--I guess." Came a soft whimpering voice.

He turned back to me. " You just wait till ya see her--there's no way in hell this kids lyin. Just let me---" He started again.

"I know, Bos. I'll let you do the talking." I said, rubbing his arm gently. Impulsively, he leaned over and planted a quick kiss on my lips, the only reminder that what had happened between us the night before had been real.

" Sorry for bein so bossy but this thin' really eats me up." 

" I know, babe. It's okay." 

We pushed through the door and stepped in slowly. Before me, a tiny girl sat in the chrome hospital bed surrounded by large white pillows. She wore a pale green hospital gown over her thin shoulders. Her blond hair was sweet and she really was a beautiful child. A lump formed in my throat as I looked at her.

But it wasn't until she lifted her head and raised those startling blue eyes to me, that I really saw her.

For I had seen those eyes before; Looked at them every day for the past few years. I loved those eyes.

And I had only seen them on one other person.

Bosco. 


	17. Rose Colored Glasses

Chapter 17–Rose Colored Glasses

After we took Lily's second statement I felt totally drained and helpless, like there was nothing in this whole world that I could do to help ease the pain that she was in. I wished I had a chip to put into her that could do just that. I knew from own childhood that those times and events never went away. For all I knew, she would never even have a regular, normal relationship with anyone ever again. The only thing in my life that had held me together for so long was Faith and without her I seriously doubted that I'd have lived so long.

I leaned back in the seat and put my hand over my eyes. I tried thinkin about the night that Faith and I had ahead of us that should have been filled with love makin, and completely failed. Then I felt like a jerk cause I shoulda been payin more attention to her, especially since it was our first day together. She drove us back to the house but she was unusually quiet, like she really had somethin' on her mind.

"Faith?"

"Ya?"

"Whatcha so quiet for?"

"I'm not quiet am I?"

"Uh–yah."

"Just thinking about stuff, I guess."

"Bout what?"

"I don't know—" She sighed. "Do we really have to get into it now? I just want to go home and sleep until I'm forty."

"Alone?" I asked, almost fearful that she was gonna tell me that she'd decided that last night was a mistake. In the back of my mind I knew that she didn't regret what happened, but at that moment I began to get a little scared. What if she had decided that maybe she wanted to give it a try with Sean? What if I had scared her away? I hoped that she didn't want to go back to bein friends cause after what we had done together last night there was no way I could go back to that.

"Alone?" She asked, puzzled. "As in without you in my bed?"

"Ya—or is that what you want?"

She didn't reply, so I took my hand away and looked over at her. She was chewin on her bottom lip as she drove. I knew she was tired but I also knew her like the back of my hand and I knew that she had somethin ta say but she was thinkin about it first. She always did that when somethin really bothered her.And ta tell ya the truth, I was too tired and drained to try an pull it outta her.

"That's not what I meant." She said softly. She looked over at me and gave me a tight smile. "I don't regret what happened between us and if you want to be in my bed I'd be glad to have you there."

That made me feel better. Knowin that she wasn't sorry about what had happened between us. It made me feel more secure but I still knew that there was somethin else eatin at her.

"So what is it then?"

"Oh, nothing." She said offhandedly. "I feel really bad for that little girl. She's been through hell."

I didn't reply.

There were times that there were no words, absolutely none, that could describe how it felt to do the job that we did. We saw things that no one would believe, let alone want to discuss. There were some things that I had trouble dealin with that had happened years ago. When you're a cop you have to learn to desensitize your feelings, not that many people would agree that I had many of those, but I did, and deal with the most disgusting crap that was known to man. This case pretty much topped it all off.

I put my hand back over my eyes and tried to fight off the throbbing headache that was starting to almost make me feel sick.

I didn't even realize we were back at the house until Faith tapped me on the arm. "Bosco, we're here."

"Huh?"

I felt her hand on my arm again, this time she rubbed her thumb along my forearm. It was still gonna take a while to get used to her touchin me like that. I'd dreamed about it for so long it almost felt too weird...but not weird enough that I didn't want her ta do it. "Are you coming inside?"

"Ya. I was jest thinkin." I mumbled, takin my hand down. I leaned forward and rubbed the back of my neck where it had become stiff. "I'm tired as hell too."

"Well, let's get the paperwork done and go back to my place." She suggested as we went inside. She even held the door open for me. My head was really starting to feel like there was a bomb in there jest waitin to explode.

"Ya." Was all I could say.

As we did up the reports, Faith sat across from me, the end of her pen in her mouth. She always chewed on the ends, it was one of her habits that drove me nuts. I mean, why put a dirty pen in your mouth when you had no clue as to how many dirty hands had been all over it?

"Dammit." I growled. I grabbled the white-out and smeared it across the paper. "Why does this always happen to me?"

"When did you and Nicole break up?"

I snapped my head up and looked at her. "Why? What does that have to do with anything?"

"Just humor me."

I dropped the not-so-useful white-out on desk and ran my hand through my hair. "I dunno—sometime after Christmas I guess."

"You don't remember the date?"

I rolled my eyes. "Noooo—but I do remember that it was the happiest day of my life—what are you asking me all of this stuff for?"

"How old did you say Lily was again?" She asked thoughtfully.

"Ten."

"When's her birthday?"

I looked down at my notes. "August 1st." I looked back up at her again. "Why?"

"Just wondering." She mumbled and leaned back in her chair. "Did you notice her middle name?"

I looked down at the notes again. "Rose." I did a double take and I looked down again and then back up at her. I'd never noticed the middle name before...and so what if it was the same name as my mother...that didn't mean anything...or did it?

"Nice name. So what? Lotsa kids have that middle name." I said, but not confidently. I was really starting to feel sick and panicky because if I really thought hard about it I knew that there was more to the story than either of us knew. Kinda like a sixth sense or somethin—and it was the last thing I wanted.

She leaned forward and rested an elbow on the desk and tucked her hair behind her ear. "Bosco, did you look at that little girl? I mean, really look at her?"

I didn't like that line of questioning and I knew where it was goin. Lily was not my daughter–and there was no way in hell that I had fathered a child ten years ago and wasn't told about it. "Faith—look, I know where you're goin with this–and I gotta tell ya now to stop—I know what you're thinkin." I said testily.

She raised her eyebrows at me and gave me one of her looks. I knew that if I didn't stop it now, it could potentially turn into a fight. "Oh, you do? And what is it that I'm thinking?"

"That kid isn't mine."

There. I'd said it.

"Did you look at those eyes? Did you look at her nose and mouth?" She asked, this time she spoke more gently, as if to ward off a blow, like she was talkin to some damn kid or somethin.

"She's not mine." I said again, a little more loudly. "There's no way in hell that I had a kid with Nicole and she didn't tell me."

Faith sighed and reached over and grabbed my hand. "Bosco–you need to consider it a possibility because she looks like you–she's named after your mother and the timing was right, the dates work out. You need to ask Nicole if it might be possible."

Oh ya—that's exactly what I'd do–just run over to Nicole's house and knock on the front door and ask her if I was the father of her child. That would be a real scene. As much as I didn't want to think about it, what if Faith was right? The wheels were turnin in my mind and it was takin me in a direction that I never thought I'd be goin. All of a sudden I was angry—real mad, like so mad I wanted to punch someone's guts out.

I jumped up from the desk and kicked the garbage can across the room and it landed with a thud on its side. "Dammit!" I yelled. "Dammit, dammit, dammit!"

Faith stood up and started to walk toward me. " Bos—".

I held up my hand. "Don't!" I hissed. "Don't say anything more! I've heard enough and that kid isn't mine! So don't talk about it again!"

"All I'm saying is that you should----"

I widened my eyes. "That I should what? " I held my raised my hands above my head and clenched my fists. "That I should go and see Nicole and ask her if I'm Lily's father just cause you think she looks like me? Cause she has my ma's middle name? Do you know how stupid that would make me look?"

I saw how hurt she was, but I kept goin. "And if I was—which I'm not—her father how the hell am I supposed to help this kid after findin out ten years too late? You just tell me what the hell I'm supposta do Faith!" I started pacing around the room, totally ignoring everything else but the sound of my own voice. "There is _no way _that I'm her father and no way that I got Nicole pregnant and she didn't tell me."

"I think you're making a mistake if you don't find out." She said.

"Mistake? My whole life's been a mistake!" I raged, coming closer to her. "And if you were smart you'd realize that before it's too late! I'm no good, Faith. I never have been. Cut your losses while you can."

"Bos—" She wiped a tear from the corner of her eye and held out her hand to me.

"I'm sorry. I have to go." I said.

I turned and walked out the door and jogged down the stairs. I didn't know where I was goin, but I knew that I had to get the hell outside and get some fresh air. Faith was better off without me. I'd only end up draggin her down. For her own good I should stay away from her.

Even though it broke my heart to think about it.

We finished up the last details, filed the reports and went into the locker room to change. I watched her out of the corner of my eye.


	18. Like the Back of My Hand

Chapter 18

Miserable was how I felt when I left the station about a half hour after Bosco had stormed out. I couldn't remember the last time that I had felt so many different emotions within such a short time. In the last forty-eight hours I had felt excitement, happiness, anger, depression, empathy, and real love—and it was wearing me out.

The thing was that no one really understood the relationship between him and me----not Fred, not my kids, not our friends or our colleagues. The reason our partnership had lasted so long was because we accepted each other exactly the way we were–and there was a lot of accepting to be done. With personalities as different as night and day, we complimented each other but we also had the tendency to irritate each other like a bad rash.

I had never understood, nor had anyone else I knew, how we could go from fighting and yelling at each other to making up in the next breath. I wondered if it was because we felt so comfortable around each other and secure together. For as long as I could remember, the only person who had made me feel secure was Bosco—and he accepted me no matter what I did or didn't do and he always had my back. That was the difference between him and Fred and a perfect example of what a real relationship was about.

I mulled these things over in my mind as I made my way home and into my apartment. I knew, as well as I knew my own name, that Bosco would blow off some steam, probably drink a little, and then come to me and want to talk. Even though I was hurt by the way he had treated me, I also knew that my partner needed to be alone and that he would come around eventually, and it left me with a strange, sad, peacefulness that only came from knowing him so well.

"No one will ever know you the way that I do. No one." He'd said. How true; For him, for me—but how nice to know, how comforting it was, knowing that no matter what happened he would always be the most important person in my life, and I in his.

Inwardly, a part of me wanted to mad at him for actually thinking that he wasn't good enough for me, for anyone, but the other part, the one that knew what he'd been through with his own family, wouldn't let me. I knew in my heart that Lily was his child—I felt it when I had looked at her! My opinion was that it was no coincidence that Bosco had been the one to take the call—of all the cops in New York City, he'd been the one. The problem was that he needed to find out for sure and I knew it scared the hell out of him–and who could blame him? I knew that when he found out it was true that there would be hell to pay and Nicole better hope that she had one hell of a fancy lawyer because he'd surely want to get Lily taken out of her home.

But exactly what would that entail? Would he be able to cope with having a ten year old daughter whom he'd never met before yesterday? Would he want to be a father? Would he know how? Would he and I raise her together? Oh, there were too many questions to answer, questions that I had no answer to.

I dropped my keys into the side table dish and kicked off my shoes. I felt dead on my feet and my legs were aching. I didn't even want to get anything to eat, as I was sure that I'd probably fall asleep at the table anyway. I did, however, make my way into the bathroom and took a quick shower.

My thoughts continued to swirl through my mind as I dried my hair, and for the first time in about two hours I really began to wonder where Bosco was. I knew that he was probably fine, as in not hurt or in an accident, but I did miss him. I wanted to wrap my arms around him, tell him that everything would be fine, that he was the only man I wanted to be with.

And that's when I remembered Sean.

I groaned and bit down on my lip. I needed to talk to him and tell him that I couldn't see him anymore but the thought of it made me nervous. Funny that he had picked up on the chemistry between Bosco and myself, even before we did, and now, I had to tell him that we were together.

"I'd rather drink poison." I mumbled to my reflection.

I threw the hair dryer under the sink and made my way into the bedroom and put on my pajama bottoms and a white tank top. The shower had made me feel a little bit better and I decided to make a cup of tea before I made the call.

In the kitchen I put the kettle on the stove and waited for the water to boil. I took out my favorite mug and set it on the counter, all the while biting my nails. Figuring I should stop before I drew blood, I drew my hand out of my mouth and glanced at the clock on the wall. It was almost eight-thirty.

"Oh, please let this be easy." I begged into thin air. "I swear I'll never bite my nails again, just make this easy."

As I poured the hot water into the mug my cell phone rang. I almost jumped out of my skin because I was so nervous. I walked over to the table and looked at the caller I.d. It was an unknown name and number.

Taking a deep breath, I answered. "Hello?"


	19. Chapter 19

_**Chapter 19- Insight**_

_Taking a deep breath, I answered. "Hello?" _

"Faith?"

"Rose?"

Instantly, I began to panic. Rose never called me unless something was really wrong. My heart began to beat triple time and I swallowed uneasily.

"What's wrong? Did something happen?"

She paused for a moment. "Not exactly, but I wondered if you knew if something was wrong with Maurice? I'm sorry to bother you at home, but he was in here a while ago and he seemed really upset—and I knew that if anyone would know it would be you---" Her voice was tight and high pitched. "What's going on with him?"

I sighed and bit down on my lip and ran my free hand through my hair. "We've been working on a really difficult case, Rose, and it's upsetting him. He probably just needs to let off some steam."

"The case about that kid?"

He'd told her? He never discussed our cases with anyone that I knew of.

"Ya. He told you?"

"Not much, but he said that this poor little girl had been abused and that he was finding it hard to keep his distance from her. He sounded really worried about her."

She trailed off, leaving me to wonder if he'd said anything more.

"Is there something else that you're not telling me?" I asked. "You sound really upset Rose."

It was her turn to sigh. "It's just that he never opens up like that. You know him Faith, probably better than I do, and I just know that he's taking his hard. Can you talk to him?"

"Sure." I said. "He'll probably be here later anyway. He always comes over when he's upset."

"Well, he said that he had to go see someone. That's why he left in such a hurry."

As if the hand of fate had reached down and tapped me on the shoulder, or whispered in my ear, I knew where he had gone, as sure as my own name.

"I'll try and find him. " I said. "And thanks for calling Rose."

I hung up the phone and with renewed energy, that I was sure was an illusion, I went to the bedroom and got dressed. I grabbed my purse and my keys and checked to make sure I had enough money for a cab uptown.

I slammed the door and went downstairs and hailed a cab.

I got inside and slammed the door. The grungy cabbie turned around and asked me where I wanted to go.

"Angel of Mercy Hospital." I said. "And make it quick."

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As I made my way down the hall toward Lily's room I felt a sense of foreboding; I knew that he was in there with her and I also knew that it was probably tearing him to shreds. I mean, he had probably mulled over the possibility of Lily being his daughter about a hundred times and then decided to go and see her.

He was, no doubt, looking at her blond hair and her tiny face, looking for the same similarities that I had found. Looking deep into her blue eyes and seeing his own. She was very tiny for ten, but even I could see that this child was a blood relative of my partner. Why couldn't he see?

Was it because he'd have to open up a whole other door to a new dimension, where everything he'd believed had been a lie? And if he opened that door, what else was he going to find in Nicole's skeleton closet?

The door was halfway open, which I knew was more than appropriate for a man visiting a child. My mother always used to say that when doors were closed it meant that there was something to hide. I think I was the only person who knew about Bosco's aversion to closed doors. It wasn't something that he had mentioned in a long time, but I knew it still haunted him. He would never be in a room with a victim with a closed door. I don't know why I concentrated on that thought right then, but I did.

I nodded to the officer, whom I didn't recognize, and he got up and stretched. "You gonna be in there for a while?' He asked, his voice very low.

I nodded again. "Go take a break if you want."

"Thanks. " He said. He turned to walk away, but then turned back to me. "The little one gets upset when she hears loud voices, so I try 'an keep it down."

"Ya—thanks for that." I said sincerely. "She's been through one hell of a time." I started to go in but stopped. "Is officer Boscorelli in there?"

"Sure has." He said, holding his hat in his hands. "I got one at home whose about that age—sure takes a cold hearted monster to do that to a kid. He's been in there for about an hour or so." He said in answer to my question. He cleared his throat. "Still don't know how anyone could do that to a kid."

"There's a special place in hell designed for 'em." I said. He nodded and walked away, his own thoughts on his mind.

I knocked gently and stuck my head around the corner. Neither of them heard, or just didn't notice. Bosco was sitting about two feet away from Lily, keeping his distance so he didn't get too close and make her uncomfortable. My eyes misted up upon seeing him, for he was reading her a book and she was curled up on her side, listening intently. She seemed to be very content with him. He spoke with a calm, gentle voice, almost hypnotic as he sat in front of her with a slender book in his hand.

"As I walked through the forest, I came to a clearing. The sun shone brilliantly, taking me out of the darkness. Elizabeth, I called frantically. Elizabeth! She was no where to be found. I looked around me, watching for signs that she had been there, when I noticed a red scarf hanging from a tree branch----"

I cleared my throat and stepped into the room.

He looked up at me, a look of pain on his face, mixed with relief, at seeing me. Immediately he looked at Lily and spoke in a calm voice.

"Lily, this is officer Yokas, do you remember her?"

I glanced over and gave her a smile. "Hi Lily, do you mind if I come in?" I asked.

She looked over at Bosco, wondering, and only nodded when he smiled at her. "She's my partner, remember—" He turned back and looked at me. I knew that he was trying to figure out if I was upset at him. " and she's also my best friend." Our eyes met and connected and I had to fight off the urge to cry. He was apologizing for what had happened before with those words.

All was forgotten and there was nothing to forgive.

I walked over and placed my hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze. He reached up and placed his hand over mine. "We were–um–just reading about Anna and her rabbit, Elizabeth." He explained, glancing up at me, trying to read what I was feeling. I smiled at him and turned back to Lily.

"Oh you were?" I asked, taking the book from his hand. I knew the story well and had read it to Emily when she was about Lily's age. "And Elizabeth's lost, isn't she?"

Lily nodded and spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. "Anna's sister, Amelia, took her and hid her away somewhere. She's lost."

"I'm sure that Anna will find her." I said cheerfully, handing the book back to Bosco. I pulled up a chair and sat it beside his and sat down. "I have the next book in the series, Lily. Have you read it yet?"

Her eyes brightened a little but she shook her head. "No."

"Would you like it if I brought it here for you and Officer Boscorelli to read together? I could bring it by tomorrow." I said.

"I'm not gonna be here tomorrow." She said sadly, looking down at her hands. "The social worker said that I have to go to a foster home for a few weeks." She looked back up at us. "I don't want to go there."

"I'll come and visit you every day honey." Bosco interjected. He stared at her intently. "And Faith will come visit you too." He looked at me and gave me a pleading glance. "Won't you Faith?"

"Of course I will. Would you like that Lily?"

I felt my heart constrict with sadness for this poor girl whose life had been turned upside down. She had been violated and ripped from the only life she'd ever known, only to be turned over to a foster home where she knew no one.

She looked up at me, seemingly wondering if she could trust me. "You'd do that?"

"Sure I would. And I'll even bring the book and Officer Boscorelli can read it to you, or I can." I offered.

She nodded non-commitally. Bosco cleared his throat and stood up and motioned for me to do so as well. "We have to go now Lily, visiting hours are over but we'll come by tomorrow to help you get settled in the new place." He said softly.

She didn't beg, wouldn't beg, just pulled the covers up to her chin, which quivered. "Okay."

"We'll see you tomorrow." I said brightly. "Bye honey."

"Bye."

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As we walked out to Bosco's mustang, he reached over and grabbed my hand tightly and gave it a squeeze. He was very emotional at that moment and I could tell that he was trying to put words together in his head.

"Thanks for what ya did back there." He said, not looking at me as we walked across the parking lot.

"I didn't do anything." I said. "I just knew that you were here and I wanted to see if you were alright. It's been a long day and you must be exhausted."

He didn't answer right away, just kicked some loose gravel with the toe of his black boot as we walked along. "It's jus—it's—" He groaned and then sighed and stopped walking. "She's so lost, ya know—an she's got nobody to sit with her. Nicole isn't allowed and there's no other family around. She's stuck in that hospital bed with no one ta talk ta." His expression softened for a moment. "'An I think you're right about her. I think she's mine. She looks too much like our family not ta be mine."

I widened my eyes and sucked in my breath. "You see it too?"

He nodded. "I see it an' I don't know what the hell ta do wit' it." He shook his head and his eyes turned dark, angry. "How could Nicole do that ta me? Ta Lily? I don't understand how she could not tell me that I have a daughter."

"I feel it in my guts, Bosco. I know that she's yours. What are you going to do?"

He shrugged. "What can I do? We'll have to get a paternity test to see for sure."

He decided. "An if she is mine than she's gonna live with me cause she sure as hell isn't going back to Nicole. I'll stay in court a hundred years to make sure that doesn't happen."

If the rest of the world saw what I saw that evening they'd never believe what they were hearing. Here was my partner, the man who didn't like kids, who would never commit in a million years, talking about being a father to a child that he could have walked away from and no one would have ever known the difference. But _he_ would have, and that made all the difference in the world.

"You're amazing. You know that, right?"

He scoffed and looked down at the ground. "Ya. Amazin. That's exactly how I'd describe it."

"Hey!" I let go of his hand and cupped my hands around his face, forcing him to look up at me. "Don't you ever say that! You have stunned me with your compassion and your goodness to this child. You have done more than anyone else has and what you did tonight—reading to her—was probably the most comforting thing she's had in a while. And now you are going to make sure that no one ever hurts her again." I leaned in and gave him a quick kiss. "I'm proud of you."

He looked everywhere but my face as I spoke. I knew that yet, again, he was blaming himself for events that he couldn't control. He was always doing that; blaming himself for everything under the sun.

He gently took my hands away from his face and started to walk again. We got to the car and started toward my house. "Are you coming over?" I asked.

He looked over at me. "You still want me to?" He asked, obviously surprised. "I mean after how I yelled at ya and left ya at the house?"

"Of course I want you to come over, Bos—I want to be here for you." I said, sighing because he still thought that he wasn't worthy of anything–love, friendship, trust. It was so sad, the way he thought of himself.

"Well I guess I can come over if ya want me to." He said.

"Do you want to come over?"

Instead of answering my question he stared strait ahead.

"Bosco?"

"Are you sure about this?"

"About what?"

"This—us." He said. "Are you sure that this is the right thing to do?"

Talk about ruining the mood.

I felt my heart sink. I knew he was scared, that's all it was. But could I seriously handle him telling me that maybe we were wrong to have slept together? I felt my guard go up. Maybe it was the fact that I'd had no sleep, hardly a thing to eat, and I was would up so tight that I felt I'd snap, but found myself getting pissed.

"Why? You aren't all of a sudden?" I asked tersely. I turned to look out the window, hurt. "You think we're just gonna go back to being partners after what happened?"

"That's not what I said."

I snapped my head back around . "That's what it sounded like. It's what you said earlier today. You think that I should walk away now that we've slept together and be done with it?" I bit back.

"I didn't say that----I just wanted to know what you thought." He said, glancing over at me.

"You seriously have to ask me how I feel about you?" I barked, feeling the tears welling up in my eyes. Only God knew how I felt about him, and I knew that there was NO way that I would go back to being only his partner, after he'd become my lover. Celibacy was a word that came to mind. I'd never be able to make love to anyone else because nothing else in the world would come close. No way. I wasn't letting him go! "Didn't I show you last night? Today? What else do I have to do to let you know how I feel?"

"Faith----" He started, but I cut him off. "Can you jus listen for a second—"

"No–you listen!" I said, running my words over top of his.

"Can you–" He tried again.

"Shut up, Bosco–"

"Just—" He snapped at me, really starting to get annoyed. He hated it when I cut him off.

"_Maurice_!" I hissed.

He stopped talking and his mouth hung open. I don't think I'd ever called him by his first name for as long as I'd known him—accept the time that he'd accidentally got me shot in that hotel room, although it was my fault as much as it had been his.

"Faith—will ya listen ta me for a sec?" He asked, his eyes wide.

"Did you not hear me?"

"Did you not hear _me_?" He raged back.

"Just shut up—!" I yelled.

"I love you!" He hissed at me, as angry as I'd seen him in a while.

I stopped talking and _my_ mouth hung open. I couldn't believe my ears. Loved me? Loved me!

"I—"

He pulled up in front of my building and slammed on the brakes. "Jeez, Faith, ya really know how ta take the romance outta it, dontcha?" His nostrils flared, and he rubbed his hand over his hair and pursed his lips together. "I wanted to know how ya felt cause I was gonna say that you have ta be sure about this----I can't go back to bein your partner if you changed your mind. Especially since things are gonna get started with Lily. I jus wantcha ta be sure, that's all." He said, a little softer. "I love ya, Faith. I've been in love with ya for years." He confessed.

"Oh, Bosco—I'm sorry." I said, reaching over and grabbing his hand. I pulled it toward me and kissed it. "I'm sorry. I thought you were changing your mind about us and I don't think that I could have barred it." I leaned over and pulled him to me and planted a big kiss on him. I leaned in and cupped my face in his hands and returned it with such fervor I thought he'd take me right there and then. A perfect example of how we fought one minute and made up the next.

We sure knew how to keep things interesting, if nothing else.

I pulled back from him only when oxygen became an issue and ran my finger over his lips.

"I love you too. I've been in love with you forever." I said. "Are you coming in?"

He nodded. "There's no where else I'd rather be then by your side, Faith."

"Do you promise?"

"Always."


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20-Loose Ends**

That night I had a million things runnin through my mind. Thoughts of how I was gonna tell Lieu that I thought that Lily was my kid, how he was gonna react ta it (most likely pull me from the case), and how I was gonna deal with bein a father when I'd never done it before and had a poor excuse of one for my own. But mostly I thought about how hard it was gonna be for me not to strangle Nicole with my bare hands once I saw her again.

For the life of me I didn't understand how anyone could be so cruel, so devious as to keep a child from it's father—that is, a guy who would love it and treat a kid the way they were supposta be treated. She'd never even given me the chance ta step up an be that man. Over and over again I replayed that last night in my mind. She'd come to the station after my shift was over, given me back all of my stuff and demanded that I give her back her keys. At the time, when I first saw her I thought that we might have made up, but she stood her ground an I never opened my mouth ta ask her to give it another try.

She'd slept with half of the friggin New York City police force! How could I take her back after that? I knew that it was her past and I certainly had mine but I'd made no bones about it—hell, when it came ta that stuff I never kept who I'd slept with a secret, but I supposed that I should have been thankin her cause if I'd married her, like I thought I'd might do, I'd never have been together with Faith.

I know that most people would say that I was crazy for thinkin that Lily was my kid when I had no proof, no nothin, to support it. But I saw her and even though I wouldn't admit it ta Faith at first, I knew that she looked like me. Hell, she looked like my kid brother Mikey, and most of all, she looked like my ma. Had her eyes. I knew that she was mine and all I needed was a paternity test to prove it.

I stalked around the livingroom like a caged panther—antsy to get out and inflict some damage. The more I paced, the more angry I became. Every minute that passed had me more an more worked up. The next move I made would be ta talk to Lieu Swersky, and then, to my lawyer. Who knew how much one of those would cost, probably my life savings, which wasn't much, but it was all worth it if it meant that Lily was safe.

I glanced at the clock. It was almost eleven-thirty and Faith had asked me ta come ta bed about three times in the last hour. I just couldn't sit still. Another thing that I had on my mind was Sean. I was still mad at him, and I knew that he'd be mad at me once he knew that Faith was mine. I sank down on the couch after practically wearin holes in the hard wood floor, and grabbed Faith's sweater and smelled her flowery scent possessively. _She was mine_. She'd always been and always would be. I could never share her with another man, even if he'd asked her out first. She'd wound up with me.

"Penny for your thoughts."

I looked back over my shoulder and saw her standin there with her black lacy nightie that I'd torn off of her the night before. Her hair was down loose off her shoulders an she looked absolutely breathtakin.

Her blue eyes clung to mine and she smiled a tender, private smile as she came inta the room and sat next to me on the couch.

"You doing ok?" She asked, as she settled herself next to me and put her arm around my shoulder.

I nodded. "Can't sleep. I'm too wound up." I leaned my head next to hers and tried to relax. She smelled so good, so inviting, but I wasn't in the mood and she knew it. But just like always, when she was close to me, my mood became lighter, less tense. I could feel myself starting to feel a tiny bit better, just cause she was sittin next ta me.

She turned her head and kissed my cheek. "I know, baby. But we'll get through it."

"How do you know that?" I asked, starin strait ahead, not really believin her.

"Because there's nothing that we can't do together." She said softly. "Nothing."

"But if she is mine—" I looked over at her so she knew I was serious. "she's gonna come live with me. She hasta. How do you feel about that? Me bein a dad an all?"

She looked confused for a moment and then sighed. "Don't you know by now that it doesn't matter to me who or what is attached to you?" She almost looked sad. "Bos, I love you and if you are Lily's father, I'll be there for you and her. Always. But just take one thing at a time. We don't know for sure yet and I don't want you to make all kinds of plans when we don't know what will happen." She said wisely.

I smiled, relieved. "I know—I shouldn't —an I won't--- but are you sure?" I mean, what's gonna happen when I can't come over for the night cause I gotta get home and look after her? And who is gonna look after her when I'm at work? How would that work?"

She leaned over and kissed me. "Then I'll come to you—or the both of you will come to me. We are in this together. No matter what. And if we need to find a sitter, we will."

I liked how she said 'we', and not 'you'. I had no clue about kids and she did, but that's not why I wanted her with me, close to me. I loved her, more than life itself and at that moment I realized that there really wasn't anything I couldn't do with her by my side.

"How'd I get so lucky?" I asked her, turning my body towards hers. I rubbed my thumb over her cheek and leaned in and kissed her. When I drew back I saw the love that she had for me and it made me smile. "You're the best thing that ever happened to me." I said.

"And you, me." She replied. She started to kiss me again and this time I really thought that my previous feelin of not bein in the mood was definitely startin to wear off , but we were interrupted by the door-bell ringing.

We looked at each other. "Who could that be?" I asked. She shrugged her shoulders, indicating that she didn't have a clue.

"It's eleven-thirty at night. Who would be here now?" She mumbled, getting up and going to the door and peeking through the peep-hole.

"Uh, oh." She groaned.

"What?" I got up and walked over to her.

"Just look." She said, stepping back and letting me get a look. "What are we gonna do?" She automatically put her finger in her mouth and started to bite her nail. She always did that when she was upset or worried or just plain bored. It totally made my stomach turn.

"Don't do that." I chastised. "It's gross."

She slapped me lightly in the stomach and gave me a worried look. "Oh, just look at who is out there and stop worrying about my nails." Then she started in on her other nail. "What's out there is what we should be worried about." She added.

I leaned into the door and peeked through. Then it was my turn to groan.

It was Sean. With flowers.


	21. chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

"What do we do?" I asked anxiously, again biting down on my nail. "Do we open the door?"

Bosco turned and slapped my hand away from my mouth and gave me a roll of his eyes. "Jeez, Faith—ya know he's not a mass murderer or somethin—he's just here ta see you." He admonished in a whisper.

"I know that." I spit at him. "He's here to see me because he probably still thinks that I'm going to be dating him. But I'm here with you." I whispered. "How would you like it?"

He ran a hand threw his hair and gave me a look. "I think we've been there before and I think you know how much I liked it." He whispered back. "We have to open the door and talk ta him—like adults."

"Oh ya. Like adults." I growled back. "I know that we went on a date but I kindof fell into bed with your best friend, Sean. _Really_ sorry about that."

He sighed and rolled his eyes again. "Are you done yet? Cause I'm gonna open the door."

"Go ahead."

He stood staring at me and crossed his arms over his chest. "Are you gonna put somethin else on?" His eyes darted to my breasts, which were fairly prominent through the low cut black material, and then down to my legs. The nightie barely covered enough.

I looked down at myself and clicked my tongue. "Ya. I may want to do that."

"Um, hum." He looked at me expectantly and when I didn't move, cocked his head to the side. "Like today, maybe?"

"I'm going." I mumbled, walking away from him. I practically ran down the hall to the bedroom. I was so nervous and I really had no reason to be, but Sean was the best friend, the one that Bosco always confided in, besides me, and I couldn't help but worry that the relationship between them would be either strained or ruined because of it.

I threw on a bathrobe and tied it tightly around my waist. I heard the scraping of the chain against the door and the snapping of the lock, as Bosco prepared to open the door, to what I was surely going to be a very shocked Sean Kelly.

Just as I walked back up the hall, Bosco opened it and swung it wide. Wide enough for me to see Sean and the surprised look on his face. I stopped in the livingroom and desperately tried to think of what I was going to say to him.

"Hey."

Sean quickly covered his surprise and then cleared his throat and gave a half smile, but walked inside, holding the flowers awkwardly in his left hand.

"Hey–Mo, about last night---." He said, looking a little lost. "I'm sorry that you saw that—"

"Don't worry about it." Bosco returned, his tone a little clipped, but not so much so that Sean would catch on. I knew Bosco like I knew myself and I also knew that he was looking at Sean, remembering the kiss that I had shared with him just hours before we'd made love. Bosco was a possessive man when he felt threatened. Although, there was no more need to feel that way.

Not knowing what else to say, Sean turned and to me and his gaze locked on to mine and he smiled, a real smile. "Hey Faith. I didn't hear from you today so I thought I'd come by and leave this for you outside your door—" He said softly, looking so handsome and clean in his blue jeans and red button down shirt, his hair slicked back and his eyes shiny. "and I saw your light on—" His voice trailed off as he turned and looked at Bosco. "Have I interrupted something?"

Bosco cleared his throat and walked over to stand beside me, clearly marking his territory, which did not go unnoticed by his friend. "Nah. It's good that you're here. We both need ta talk ta ya." He said, not softly, not harshly—just simple and to the fact.

Sean narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "About what?"

I started to walk over to him and held out my hand. "Why don't you sit down, Sean. There's something that we need to tell you."

"Okay then." He sat on the rocker and Bosco and I both took the couch.

I could feel my palms starting to sweat and my stomach churning. Some people would wonder what the big deal was, but I hated these kinds of situations with a passion. I hated making people feel bad, hated the awkwardness, the time it took to get the right words out—if there really were any right words.

I leaned forward and clasped my hands in front of me, on my knees. I didn't look him directly in the eye. I couldn't. "Sean, I don't know how to say this to you so I'm just gonna say it—" I began, but was cut off when he started laughing. I blanched.


	22. No Fighting Fair

_Bosco cleared his throat and walked over to stand beside me, clearly marking his territory, which did not go unnoticed by his friend. "Nah. It's good that you're here. We both need ta talk ta ya." He said, not softly, not harshly—just simple and to the fact._

_Sean narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "About what?"_

_I started to walk over to him and held out my hand. "Why don't you sit down, Sean. There's something that we need to tell you."_

"_Okay then." He sat on the rocker and Bosco and I both took the couch._

_I could feel my palms starting to sweat and my stomach churning. Some people would wonder what the big deal was, but I hated these kinds of situations with a passion. I hated making people feel bad, hated the awkwardness, the time it took to get the right words out—if there really were any right words._

_I leaned forward and clasped my hands in front of me, on my knees. I didn't look him directly in the eye. I couldn't. "Sean, I don't know how to say this to you so I'm just gonna say it—" I began, but was cut off when he started laughing. I blanched._

"The two of you are so dramatic—" He laughed. "You really should be on television." He declared sarcastically. He set the flowers next to him on the side table and looked at me expectantly.

I was less than impressed by the condescending manner in which he spoke to us—and that was something that I hadn't noticed, of course, the night before or any other time I'd talked to him on the phone. And although Bosco had filled me in on some of Sean's extra-curricular activities—which did indeed include many different women—and despite what I had learned, I still felt uncomfortable about what I needed to say.

When neither of us spoke, he gave us an are-you-stupid look. Quite a difference from the man who had wined and dined me the night before.

"_What_ is it?" He rolled his eyes to the ceiling for a moment, while I took a quick look at Bosco to see which one of us was going to start the conversation. He nodded at me slightly. When I turned my attention back to Sean I had the feeling that he definitely knew that something was going on between his best friend and myself.

"Seriously, guys—whatever it is you can just tell me." He leaned back on the old rocker and crossed his foot over his knee expectantly, noting how close my lover and I were sitting together. "We're all adults aren't we?" He threw in Bosco's direction. His smile had become somewhat oily, as if he knew what we were going to say—he just had to hear someone say it because I knew that he didn't want to hear it. "And I'm sure that no one here wants to step on any toes or make a play for someone who is already spoken for—right Mo? That would never happen would it?"

There were so many innuendoes in the way he spoke, it unnerved me.

"Sean, this is really an awkward moment so please just try and understand—" I began, looking over desperately to Bosco to rescue me but he just stared at Sean. "I had a great time with you last night and I really had every intention of seeing you again—"

"_Had_ every intension? He digested what I had said for a second before narrowing his eyes, which were now dark and hot. "What did _you_ say to her about me?" He shot an accusing glance at Bosco before he dropped his leg to the floor and leaned forward, clasping his hands together and looked up at me earnestly. "Faith, don't you think we should talk about this in private? I mean, I had a wonderful time with you last night and kissing you was like a dream. But do we really need Maurice here to discuss our dating status?" He glanced over at Bosco. "No offense, man." He snapped, when he saw the look on his friends face—which was somewhere between jealous and downright annoyed.

"I don't think that is necessary—" I began, only to be cut off by the other male in the room. The testosterone was really beginning to fill the air.

"I didn't have to _say_ anything to her." Bosco snapped back. "She decided that on her own."

"Well? You don't want to talk to me alone—"He said, looking over at me, somewhat hurt, but _seriously_ annoyed. "So I have to presume that the only reason you don't want to is because of him. " Sean looked from me to Bosco and I could tell that he was really heating up and whatever had been brewing between the lifelong friends was about to irrupt. "Did you finally hook up with her Mo? You finally screwed her and just in the _nick_ of time, just when I was getting my shot with her!"

"Sean—" I began, but he cut me off with a shake of his head, his eyes blazing. This conversation wasn't really about me, I realized, it was about the two of them and winning. And I was the prize. I sat there, listening to the two of them tear strips off of each other and talking about me as if I weren't even in the room. I leaned back and crossed my arms over my breasts and waited for an opportunity to say my piece.

"Don't talk about her that way!" Bosco barked, coming to my defense. "I didn't screw her, as you so eloquently put it—but we did want to tell you that something had happened between us and that we're going to be a couple. We just didn't know how to tell you—"

Sean snorted. "A couple?" He threw his head back and laughed—how that man loved to laugh! "That's the most idiotic thing I've ever heard!—You? Mr. Love-em-and-leave-em-as–fast–as—you—can–get–your–ass–outta–her–bed? A couple? Give me a break—since when do you know how to think about anyone but yourself?"

"That's bullshit!"

"Is it?"

"You're damned right it is!" Bosco roared. "This isn't even about you! This is about me and Faith and you really don't have a thing to do with it!"

"You didn't want her and you didn't want anyone else to have her either." He said incredulously, his voice rising. "You had time to ask her out but you didn't, did you?"

"Wait just a minute—" Bosco cut in and pointed his index finger toward Sean. "You have no right to say that ta me! She's my partner–there were things to consider here and the point is----"

"The point is that you stabbed me in the back." Sean hissed, then turned on me. "You really want to be with him, Faith? Did he tell you about his little friend that he woke up with a couple of days ago?" He barked at me. "Do you know how much he sluts around? Do you have any idea how many women he's slept with?"

I turned and looked at Bosco questioningly but he wasn't paying any attention to me—his face had turned about six shades of red and his nostrils were flaring----the words had hit their mark.

Bulls-eye. And it broke my heart all the same.

He was up off the couch like a shot and crossing over toward Sean with his fist clenched. "Shut your mouth!" He growled, his voice now low and dangerous. "Shut your mouth before I shut it for you, Kelly!"

"You can't take it can you, Mo? And you think that you are actually going to be able to have a real relationship with her? You can't even be truthful to her, can you?"

"Shut up!"

"Oh, you don't want me to tell her about the whore do you?" Sean stood up, glaring and I feared that quite soon I would be calling either Sully or Ty to take one or both of them to jail for the night. He grabbed Bosco by the front of the shirt and fisted his hands. "He likes prostitutes, Faith. Ask him. Go ahead." He taunted me.

"What is he talking about?" I asked. "Is it true?"

"Not now, Faith!" Bosco roared at me. "Don't listen to him!"

"He took that whore home after a night at Rose's bar—" Sean continued angrily. "And he actually—"

"Stop it!" I yelled, standing up and trying to get between them, not wanting to hear any more. "Just stop it both of you!"

"I swear to God—" Bosco screamed, his voice shaking with rage. "I'll rip your heart out and stuff it back down your damned throat!" Quicker than I'd ever seen him do it before he reached out and pushed me back and then he brought his arm up and snapped Sean a good one in the face. I heard the sickening sound of bone on bone and knew immediately that one of them had broken something—most likely the fingers that had connected with that particular face. They locked arms on each other and grappled, falling over my coffee table and rolling around on the floor.

"The two of you stop it right now!" I screamed, tears running down my cheeks. "I'm calling the police!" I added furiously. "Both of you get off my floor and out of my house!"

I was about as angry as I had been in years—literally—I'd listened to them talk about me as if I were a piece of cattle, a possession that didn't have a brain or the will to decide anything for myself—but most of all I was hurt by the accusation that Sean had slung. I knew my Bosco right down to his bone marrow and I knew by the way he was acting that it was true. A prostitute—how ironic that Bosco would end up with the very kind of woman that he hated.

"Ask him!" Sean shouted at me, over the din.

I didn't have to ask.


	23. Forgive Me

There. I'd gone and done it. Again.

"Faith! Please just let me explain—" And then I was talking to the door. "Awww, dammit!"

I'd messed up royally and I knew that I had really blown it and probably for good. As Faith shut the door in my face I could feel my anger heating up in a different way than it had before; It was an anger born outta betrayal and my so called best friend had been the one to rip out my happiness and stamp all over it.

"What the hell did ya do that for?" I yelled at Sean as I put on my shoes and grabbed my keys off of the dirty carpet. "Do you know what you've done? You know damn well that I didn't know that girl was a whore and I'm sorry that I trusted you, asshole!"

He wiped the blood off of his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt and glared at me hatefully. "Done?" He pointed to himself. "What _I've _done? I was goin out with her, pal, not you." He spat at me. "You're just pissed because I got to her first and you had to go and steel her away."

I almost laughed. "Steel? I'd say that's about the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say!" I started to walk away, knowing that if we talked out in the hall that someone would call my fellow officers and even though I was mad as hell, I knew that Faith wouldn't be opening the door to me anytime soon. "There's no one in this world that knows her the way that I do." I barked childishly over my shoulder. "And I love her and I know she loves me, so piss off."

"Love–that's a laugh." He said dryly as he followed me down the hall and out of the building. "You don't know what love is."

"How the hell would you know?"

"How would you?" He countered. "Did she tell you?"

"Go to hell."

"Well did she? Did you hear her say the words? Cause if you didn't I'd say that she's fair game."

"Fair game?" I stopped and turned around and gave him the dirtiest look I could muster. "This is no game, Kelly! You don't get it do you? I love her and I want to be with her for the rest of my life and thanks to you it's all shot to hell!"

"I think that you wouldn't know what love was if it hit you in the face, Boscorelli."

"Maybe I never did know what it was." I replied, as we parted ways on the sidewalk. I had nothing left to say to him but one thing. "But I do now. And no one, especially you, is gonna take it away from me."

I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and dialed Faith's cell, praying that she'd at least pick up and let me explain.

555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555

In the end, as soon as I picked up the phone to call the cops they both stopped. They were both bloody and sodden, both mean as snakes, cursing obscenities at one another while trying to catch their breaths. To say that they were angry with one another would have been an understatement.

And they had nothing on how_ I_ felt.

With tears coursing down my cheeks I kicked the both of them out, not caring what they said or the apologies that they both muttered as I threw out Bosco's shoes and his car keys–ignoring the blatantly sorry look that was radiating from him to me-- and slammed the door shut behind me.

"Faith! Please just let me explain—" I put my hands over my ears, shutting out the sound of Bosco's voice in the hall.

The truth was that I couldn't stand to hear what he had to say. I was so hurt, so mortally wounded that I knew there was no way I could make it into work the next day–and I knew that he would cover for me. He would damn well cover me–after what he pulled he knew it would be in his best interest to shut his mouth and say nothing at all.

My cell phone rang from its place on the kitchen table. I went in and picked it up and looked at the caller i.d.

"_Bosco"_. It said.

Just seeing his name on the display made me cry even harder. The thing was that I really had no reason to be upset with him. He'd slept with the woman–if you could call her that—when we weren't together but it was the fact that she was a prostitute that really got to me. But I guess the thing that really mattered most to me was that he hadn't told me.

As a woman in a relationship why was it that we never seemed to get the whole truth? Just versions of what men thought we could handle and nothing more. I knew that he hadn't told me because of what I would think. This prostitute—did he have plans to see her again? Was she someone that he had known for a long time?

These questions were running through my sleep deprived mind as I tucked myself into bed and shut off the light–not knowing what tomorrow would bring.

_**And somewhere across town...**_

Nicole Nicholson sat at her kitchen table with a pen in one hand and a tumbler of scotch in the other, all the while looking down at the empty scented stationary that sat in front of her. Her golden hair hung loose around her shoulders that shook with silent sobs. The pale peach nightie she wore provided little or no comfort to the air conditioner that her husband insisted that she keep on at all times. Tony hated the heat—and she knew all too well what it meant when Tony was upset. Still, she made no move to put on a housecoat.

Her thoughts were jumbled, her mind a mess as she contemplated the letter that she was about to write...if she would muster the courage. Even after four glasses of the amber liquid that no longer burned as it went down, she still didn't know what to say, or more importantly, how to say it. It wasn't every day that she sat down to tell a man that she hadn't seen in almost ten years that he had fathered a child with her.

A child that she had never told him about. A child that she wished she'd never had.

It wasn't like she could pretend it never happened. Lily was a Boscorelli–through and through. She just hoped that Maurice hadn't seen the resemblance and put two and two together.

She almost laughed; As if he was _that_ smart.

She needed time to find the right words. Sometimes Nicole wondered if Rose Boscorelli had thought about giving her boys away. From the stories that the family had told her, both Maurice and Mikey were hellions. Was it possible that Lily had just inherited those bad genes?

It never occurred to her that the thing she should be worried about the most was the tiny girl who sat in the hospital bed miles away, yearning for her mother. The very person who was supposed to protect her from all harm was the one who had continued to live under a cloud of illusion—and still, Nicole did not believe that her husband was capable of doing anything of that nature.

Yes, she reasoned, he was cruel; sometimes downright inhuman, but never, never to the children. Tony Nicholson was a man with many desires, big and small and many different adult perversions—and none of them included children as far as she knew. The things that he lusted after were kinky and sordid, she told herself, and he would never be satisfied with a child.

Or one woman.

There was a time that she hated the fact that he bedded other women; That he didn't take their marriage vows seriously, and she felt like a fool. Coming to the policeman's ball year after year looking at the beautiful women who seemingly feel all over her husband used to make her sick. But after ten years of marriage, she found herself not caring as much. The more women he slept with, the easier it was for her at home. Not as many beatings, black eyes, or nights being tied to the bed while he did things to her that she pretended never happened. No, as long as she played the part of the happy wife and mother, things would be fine and as long as the other women let him do things to them that would only be found in underground snuff movies, she was safe.

As she finally put the pen to the paper, she was startled to feel two cold hands cup her breasts from behind. She jumped as two strong thumbs kneaded her nipples roughly–so roughly it hurt.

"Tony!" She barked, dropping the pen to the table surface. "Can't you see that I'm in the middle of something?"

"Come to bed."

"In a minute. I just have to finish up here." She said softly, reaching down to push his hands off of her.

The sudden jerking of her chair being pulled backwards was enough for her to shut her mouth. In an instant her six foot four, two hundred pound husband was crouching down beside her, a sick smile pasted on his handsome face. She glanced down at his naked torso and felt the beginning of real fear prick holes in her drunkenness.

"I _said_, come to bed." He said lightly, running his palms down her leg to pull her nightie up to her waist. "I have a surprise for you, my darling." He whispered fiercely.

It was not a request.

It was an order.


End file.
